Has anyone here had a relationship like that?

Discuss the fabulous movie Lost In Translation!

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jml2
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#21 Post by jml2 » Fri Apr 15, 2005 6:08 pm

what a painful thread

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#22 Post by Guest » Sun Apr 17, 2005 6:09 pm

I think I kind of have. I was in Germany a coupla weeks ago, spending a while there to brush up on the lingo and what-not for the upcoming exams, and I was having a pretty rubbish time, all in all. I mean, I had the imperfect tense nailed but I was still glum, with the weird German couple I had shacked up with. It began to look up, though, when I met the daughter of a fellah that's just been let out o'prison for corporate embezzlement or whatever they call that sort of thing. He was framed. Anyway, that's unimportant, but it can act as a hook.
Y'see, she was the most fucking interesting creature I have ever come across and I don't think she even knew it- an art student that read Satre and Mann and Kundera. It seems like a cliche on paper, but when you meet it, it bowls you over. Talking about her favourite musicians, but not like an obsessed fan, like they're brothers or sisters that have done stuff she's proud of, i.e., totally engrossing. Pronouncing 'genius' 'jaynius' (that's obviously a German accent thing, but I think of it like it's a quirk of hers). We spent the next few days wandering round German town after German town, just wandering slowly everywhere by day and sitting for hours in bars in the evening. Art galleries and jazz clubs and all that tired but charismatic European back-packer crap. And then I went home, and buggered if I know where that leaves me. I was even having trouble sleeping (not sleeping at all) the nights between meeting with her, but the last night, the night I knew I wasn't going to see her the day after, I slept right through till morning. But that's not a tidy ending- It didn't have the tidy conclusion of LiT, and I'd kinda rather it didn't- I'd like to see her again. But the problem is, in the intervening time since I last saw her, it's gone from the comfortably-platonic-hint-of-maybe-attraction type relationship of LiT to the stage where, when I'm sort-of distracted by something, but not quite enough, my brain falls into the between-thoughts stage, the 'neutral' gear, and then her name just springs to my lips for no reason at all. This happens dozens of times a day, and I feel like I'm being punched in the gut, which kinda irks me 'cos I think I'm such a level headed fellow, that can deal with burgeoning relationships and break-ups in *ever* such a mature way, and all that. So, I'm out of LiT territory now. I was there for a bit, and now it's all complicated. I think she's coming over in May. I need to stop being so mopey. I think I'll join this forum soon. Didn't there used to be one at this web address? Anyways, this message can be A Nony Mouse, cos it's quite ridiculous, spewing my guts to a load of virtual-unknowns. Incidently, I'm not in pain or anything because of this. Just enjoying the confusion I guess. Though I am *really* confused. This is meant to be a happy post, I think. I like dwelling on strong emotions. I haven't read through this, though, and it probably reads like rubbish, but it's late and I've just finished hours of German coursework.

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#23 Post by Guest » Mon Apr 18, 2005 12:44 pm

Man, I spout some crap sometimes. Sorry 'bout all that. But you did ask.

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#24 Post by jm » Tue Apr 19, 2005 3:45 am

"[quote:edb5cb7183="Anonymous"]Man, I spout some crap sometimes. Sorry 'bout all that. But you did ask.[/quote:edb5cb7183]
I quite liked it -- but you didn't give us any scenes from your private movie, or describe the girl in much detail. But we thank you for posting it, I'm sure."
Last edited by jm on Sat Feb 17, 2007 2:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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#25 Post by Silk » Tue Apr 19, 2005 7:21 am

It wasn't crap at all! I am in fact quite glad that some of us doesn't go thorugh painful things only.

Oh, and the... "friend of mine" realised that his music (he's a musician) reminded of one the songs in LiT, about 20 minutes into the film. That means that he saw the film just recently, as he told me about it this week in an e-mail. I wonder what he thinks about the relationship between Bob and Charlotte. :roll:

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#26 Post by Guest » Tue Apr 19, 2005 11:20 am

johnmonkey wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Man, I spout some crap sometimes. Sorry 'bout all that. But you did ask.
I quite liked it -- but you didn't give us any scenes from your private movie, or describe the girl in much detail. But we thank you for posting it, I'm sure.
I don't know about specific scenes, there was just a mood I've never been so engulfed in before, here was a girl that on the night of the day I first met her was resting her head on my shoulder on the train ride back to hers, and it seemed natural, but also weird as I was never sure where this platonic intimacy left me. As to describing her, the fact that she was quite, quite beautiful was almost a foot note compared to her astonishing interesting-ness. She took me to an art gallery one day, and walked around telling me what each piece was about. She hadn't read the brief or anything, she didn't know the artist- she just had a confidence- not an arrogance, just a self-assuredness. And I thought that was cool.

Basically, the LiT link: I was stuck somewhere foreign, she was at a 'what am I doing?' phase- well, as am I, but I guess that's youth- there were lots of pleasant quiet moments that I bet Air would have liked to soundtrack, and occasional moments of startling profundity (we slipped into English for those bits), for the duration of my time with her I couldn't sleep a single wink (I ended up watching Lost in Translation, La Haine and Being John Malkovich over and over) and I thought I could fall in love with her, but if I said anything I'd ruin it. Bleh.


I'll go back to lurkity-lurking.

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#27 Post by jm » Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:59 am

"Very cool posts.

8)"
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#28 Post by adl618 » Wed Apr 20, 2005 11:05 am

I wonder if the feeling is "unrequited love"?
Well maybe not really. Because both Bob and Charlotte feel for each other.
I think I have had a few experiences of love for a girl and not dare to mention it for some reason or another. And sometimes then later I find out she felt the same way.
But I think I am not as strong as Bob, if i know a girl has feelings I normally would act on them...

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#29 Post by Just Like Honey... » Sun Apr 24, 2005 5:20 pm

adl618 wrote:I wonder if the feeling is "unrequited love"?
Well maybe not really. Because both Bob and Charlotte feel for each other.
I think I have had a few experiences of love for a girl and not dare to mention it for some reason or another. And sometimes then later I find out she felt the same way.
That hits home with me.
I'd rather be a gear in a big, deterministic, physical machine than just some random swerving.

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Bob/Charlotte situation

#30 Post by 52FM » Fri May 20, 2005 3:54 pm

I’m glad I found this board and thread. I was in a situation around 10 years ago from the “Bob” side. That’s why this movie hit me like a ton of bricks when I saw it. Many similarities but three huge differences that conspired to make my final ending not bittersweet but disastrous.

It began as a mentor relationship, led to a friendship, and then deeper, but never a physical desire. I believed she felt the same. But it needed to end due to the first main difference: I was her supervisor.

But the second main difference made it difficult. There was no “going home from Tokyo”. Let’s put it this way – I realized you can’t say “I’ll never forget you” to someone you see nearly every day. It was too difficult for me to stop the conversations. So rather than a mature end like Bob had, I thought I could have this friendship and my marriage, and a happy family life. Selfish, immature, and nearly self-destructing.

The third difference came from not ending it like I tried. “Charlotte” became disgusted with me, and for good reason. She maybe even doubted my wanting to be just friends. We never talked it out, partly because I was afraid she wouldn’t be honest with me (see difference #1) and partly because I was afraid she would be honest and I’d find out she never really felt the way I thought she did.

My marriage survived, my wife forgave me and eventually understood at some level. She has not seen the movie, and I hope she doesn’t – it would just bring this all back up again.

My reaction to those who would like to see a sequel – LiT ended perfectly. Unlike me, Bob was able to carry with him a happy memory of the deep connection he had.

I envy him tremendously.

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Re: Bob/Charlotte situation

#31 Post by Suntory » Wed May 25, 2005 12:46 am

52FM wrote:My reaction to those who would like to see a sequel – LiT ended perfectly. Unlike me, Bob was able to carry with him a happy memory of the deep connection he had.
Yea because it was a movie fantasy! :o
Real life is a lot more messy!

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#32 Post by silvermoon » Sat Aug 13, 2005 11:32 am

i experienced something very similar, albeit with a girl i already knew rather than with a stranger. she is very beautiful (the truth), and also the type of girl who is very playful, unfortunately because of this i was never sure if she felt the same way about me, as she has a way of saying and doing things to lead you on but being conservative enough that you dont know her true intentions. perhaps that mystique is part of the allure

we had not known each other long, and had never really communicated meaningfully before, even though i had liked her very much all along, but once abroad my feelings towards her were amplified greatly. we spoke to each other, planned numerous times to meet up, but unfortunately, we circled each other but circumstance limited us to a single meeting, and then with another friend tagging along. the feeling of both elation and frustration was immense. we said our goodbyes (we didnt think we were going to see each other again) and, with friend looking on, parted by shaking hands.

for a time, the weight of regret was crushing. the worst part of it was feeling sorrow for not having been able to do anything when in my head knowing that it would not work out anyway. ever since returning home our relationship has stalled and even minor things, plans etc. have a way of falling apart now. perhaps being around each other outside of a foreign environment is no longer so significant. i can certainly relate to a relationship that exists out of circumstance rather than simply an emotional connection

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#33 Post by adrien950 » Fri Aug 26, 2005 3:08 pm

Hi there....I posted this on another post but this seems to fit THIS post perfectly.Here we go...

What makes this movie great is the realism involved. My story is not EXACTLY like LIT but the feelings are similar. My story--- I was 29 and married for 7 years when life kind of went strange. My wife and I were drifting apart, kind of doing our own thing. I was caught up with work, and would seldom talk to her. We both fell into the wrong crowd and were both tempted to stray. But while I passed my temptation (a woman from work), she did not. I was kind of at a crossroads in life. I was about to enter my 30's and was kind of lost as to what the future would hold. My wife and I had been seperated for 2 months when one night while I was at my usual bar getting hammered, my "Charlotte" walked in. She was 18 (her sister worked there) and had a fiancee'. We would talk all the time and for some odd reason would bump into each other at different places alot. She was suffering from the same negect that Charlotte was,and was unsure of what direction to go in life. We comforted each other but, would never take it too far. There was this incredible tension that we both felt. We did all the things they did in the movie (bar,resturant,kareoke,strip club-sister worked there too!,dance club,hotel). I also hurt her by sleeping with another woman (women actually). I wanted her so bad but was somehow scared to act on it.I cared for her so much! This had been going on for about 7 months when my wife (who had moved back home to another city to live with her sister) called me. We talked for several months and she had visited me in that time. We both grew up in our time apart and I felt that maybe I should see If the marriage could be saved. I loved my wife despite all the screwed up things we did to each other. My wife asked me to move to where she lived. I was lost. Before I could even think about life with my "Charlotte", I had to see if I could fix my old life. My last night with "Charlotte" was so special,we just looked into each others eyes all night, hugged and kissed. then said our goodbyes. We both said if fate wants us together, we'll find each other again. My marriage is better than ever thanks to Christian Counciling and my future looks bright. I do think of my "Charlotte" from time to time. I miss her. I think I'll always miss her. That's life,though...we never will know whats ahead unless we keep moving foward.
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#34 Post by jm » Sat Aug 27, 2005 12:11 am

"[quote:b7900fea48="adrien950"]Hi there....I posted this on another post but this seems to fit THIS post perfectly.Here we go...[/quote:b7900fea48]
Very excellent post, Adrien. :)"
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#35 Post by Pitman » Wed May 10, 2006 4:11 pm

I remember once on the subway, years ago, I was on my way to see a movie. Across from me was a very beautiful young lady who was looking back at me favourably. We kept looking at each other and looking away and smiling. This went on for several stops. Then when my stop came, she got off too. We ended up walking along side each other to our respective locations. I found out that she was married with kids and visiting the city from up north. She was on her way to meet her family at a restaurant right across from the movie theatre I was going to. We both felt the same jolt of attraction to one another. And we both felt that bittersweet moment of parting, knowing that we did share a very special, albeit brief, moment in time that was just for us.

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#36 Post by kite » Thu May 11, 2006 10:19 pm

wow Pitman, that sounds really nice and...nostalgic. :cry:

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#37 Post by Flyonthewall » Fri May 12, 2006 2:58 am

Nice one Pitman 8)

No such luck here lol..
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The Search for Charlotte continues....

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#38 Post by Congruous » Sat May 13, 2006 1:39 pm

In the early eighties, I had to fly to Frankfurt from Atlanta. I got to the airport only to find that my Delta flight had been cancelled. The Delta folks were very courteous and in less that 15 minutes they had gotten me on a KLM flight to Amsterdam (and then onto a Lufthansa flight to Frankfurt).

My neighbor in the next seat was a very attractive young woman. She was from Pensacola and was flying from A'dam to Paris. We talked the whole flight and had a great time together. I had it all worked out in my head how we were going to be able to hook up in Paris (I lived in west central Germany and Paris was a fairly easy train ride).

Unfortunately, when we got to A'dam we got separated when we got off the plane. I ran all over the airport looking for her, but I never saw her again. I was not happy. In that particular situation I didn't think it was necessary to get her number. Boy, was I wrong.
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#39 Post by mothling » Sat May 13, 2006 9:15 pm

I don't know if this really counts but, I once kind of had a LiT moment with one of my uncles. He was kind of the Bob character, and I the Charlotte, even though I am male. Though at the time, I was at a very open-ended period of my life, and he was roughly Bobs age in the movie. I was at a big family gathering, and I being the family black-sheep almost (I am nothing like the rest of my family) was sitting by myself in the garden, when my uncle came and sat outside with me. Now this uncle, I had never really ever spoken to before in a real way. It had always only ever been a quick hello or whatnot. But anyway, we got talking and we ended up having really deep conversations. He truly did help me find a perspective on what I wanted to achieve with my life and what path I might follow, and I think I helped him find some kind of solace with where his life was at the time. I have only seen him once since, and again it was only briefly, again at anothe rfamily party. It was only another quick hello, but we nodded at eachother in a way that we knew eachother better than that in a way. Sort of, a quick 'remember what i said' kind of thing.

I know it doesn't really compare to Bob and Charlotte. I mean, there was certainly no sexual tension between me and my uncle at all but, I think the deeper friendship and the helping of eachother whilst at a crossroads in your life was definately there during this experience.
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#40 Post by Pitman » Tue May 16, 2006 6:44 pm

mothling, great experience. It does certainly compare. Thanks for sharing. I understand the relevance and similarity to Bob and Charlotte regarding the connecting in a real and meaningful way. Finding these kind of connections is not so easy. It looks like you really did get a lot out of that discussion, and it's a good thing you were open to that. Not all people would be.

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