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Has anyone here had a relationship like that?
Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 9:20 am
The film is so moving to me because it reminds me so much of a relationship I had with a woman 20 years ago. Although unlike Bill Murray's character I was fairly young and unmarried at the time, many of the movie's scenes, and the overall feel I get from it remind me of that relationship. I wonder if a lot of the film's fans have had a similar relationship to that portrayed in the movie?
Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 11:12 am
I've never been i n that situation myself but I'm just waiting, like most everyone else.
Welcome to the Forums, BTW
Sometimes I wonder if I really would like to have a full fledged LiT moment, because since I don't really travel, it would never be as strong or significant as the one Bob and Charlotte share. I've had short connections with people, although not in another country altogether, and it really does give you that depressing, LiT vibe to know that you just had even the slightest connection with a person you will most likely never meet again.
Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 2:54 pm
I had a relationship like it. I think that is why I like the movie so much. It was hard dealing with the fact I will probably never see the person again. I have always wondered how he and his family are doing.
Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 4:26 pm
Just Like Honey... wrote:I've had short connections with people, although not in another country altogether, and it really does give you that depressing, LiT vibe to know that you just had even the slightest connection with a person you will most likely never meet again.
I used to work in an independent Youth Hostel in Europe, and I spent five years making many of those sorts of strong, yet short-term connections. It can get depressing, especially when I look back on it and realise that I'm only in contact with two or three of the people I worked with or met, and only then by mail because we've all moved on to different places widely scattered about the Earth. On the other hand, it's not so bad because you realise that you're lucky to have strong connections with people even over a short time - and many times it's true that the light that burns only briefly often burns brightest. So now when I travel I look forward to similar brief encounters, and I don't expect them to last because I know they're a natural part of life on the road.
The other thing that's good is that both my wife and my best friend came from such meetings. Both relationships have lasted nearly 20 years, so such brief and seemingly tenuous encounters can also lead to lasting and close friendships.
Re: Conections Like LIT
Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 7:02 pm
I have travelled on business over the years, and until I watched LIT, I never thought about them, but I do have some brief strong connection memories. The connections, sometimes only an airline flight, sometimes the course of the trip, were unexpected and interesting. I'm glad I didn't always keep my nose in a book on a flight or stayed in my room after business meetings.
Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 12:14 pm
I think one of the reasons this film has been so acclaimed is because there are so many different aspects that people can relate to, things that are not to dissimilar to our own lives.
Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 11:52 am
I've had an experience similar to that- In I think Myrtle Beach.
However, it lasted only a few hours, and sadly, I left without a true goodbye like Bob and Charlotte did. It was more akin to the goodbye in the hotel lobby...
That was a sad few weeks after that event....
Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2005 1:51 am
I have been away from home and experienced something similar. After hanging out with this girl around the city (San Diego) we capped the trip with drinks, things got a little out of hand and we had a wonderful, if drunken time that night. The day after we didn't talk about it, but we were still amiable enough. We went our seperate ways - I still see her around school sometimes. Be careful with situations like that, it's easy to get very confused.
Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2005 10:05 pm
Having experienced both in my life, I am happy to report that there is a difference between having an alcohol-fueled tryst with someone fun in a far-away city, and having a chance-encounter with your soulmate.
There was a basic respect for Charlotte that called for Bob to not push the relationship too far. He sensed that her trust in him was not easily earned, what they did have was very fragile, and Bob was careful to protect that. He loved Charlotte enough to not try to compromise her. That's part of what makes this relationship so special. Bob and Charlotte became the people that they truly wanted to be when they were with each other; people capable of mutual trust, respect, and honesty.
Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2005 12:53 am
only in my dreams
Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 3:49 am
Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 12:40 am
Nice summary, hull_street
It's interesting to line that up against the accusations some viewers had that Bob was abusing Charlotte's youth and naivity.
Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 7:50 am
I've experienced - if not within the same situation - the tension that one can find between Bob and Charlotte.
I definitely connected with my mentor, and he's 17 years older than me with a wife and three kids. He never talks about his family though. Anyway, you remember the scene in the elevator right after the fire alarm. I felt that sort of tension with him every time we met, no kiss of course (too taboo), but still, one could cut that electricity with a knife.
It was almost a year since my graduation, I met him once during this time this winter. We e-mail each other every to every second week. We keep being busy with our own lifes, but I think of him a lot.
I remember one day a year ago when I and a few classmates started discussing LiT (they were about to see it at the cinema, and I'd already seen it) he mentioned to me that he'd seen as well. He said that he very much enjoyed the ending, and then his eyes met mine with such warmth... all I could say was a dreamy "yeess" and return his gaze (as if we were alone in the room).
Well... we do keep some kind of sporadic contact, but at the same time both of us know that we'll probably never... get together - considering his family, my youth and lack of whatever it is...
It is as if we've already said good-buy but nevertheless we are trying to keep one tiny piece of each other with us.
Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 10:07 am
It's painful to meet and connect with someone but because of unfortunate timing not be able to further explore what could have been. You just have to hope that someday you will meet a potential soulmate when you both are able to completely explore the possibilities.
LIT has turned into one of those "comfort food" types of films for me with the likes of "When Harry Met Sally" and "Annie Hall".
Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 12:45 am
"[quote:6b5cb3c4e9="Silk"]I've experienced - if not within the same situation - the tension that one can find between Bob and Charlotte. .... It is as if we've already said good-buy but nevertheless we are trying to keep one tiny piece of each other with us.[/quote:6b5cb3c4e9]
Thank you very much for posting that for us.
Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 6:33 am
Well, thank you for letting me sharing. It is a bit comforting to be allowed to air these things sometimes, because mostly I'm just thinking about it myself. I'm not the type who brings up my whole life story in front of every stranger I meet, but considering the topic at hand I felt it could fit in the context...
Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 6:35 am
(( ooops, forgot about login' in'... okay, last post made by me, the one above - sorry ))
Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 10:49 am
I'm a single man and had a relationship with a married woman for 14 years. I never touched her sexually...don't ask me how we accomplished this...it just happened that way. We loved each other and somehow manged to keep our hands off each other. I can remember nights when I would get home and I would look up at the sky and say, "Why didn't you kiss her?" But it was a line that couldn't be crossed. I dated other women during this period and we had what you would call a normal relationship.
"Lost in Translation" immediately reminded me of this relationship and actually relieved me to see that someone else thought this way.
Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 9:03 pm
Sign up and make yourself known, guest. We have a great deal in common, although I have you beat by 2 years, and both of us were married. I never went beyond the "awkward hug" phase, and reaching that seemed a pinnacle, of sorts.
I think I inadvertently ended the friendship by sending her an email that spelled-out a lot of what I was feeling. She already knew how I felt, of course, but I couldn't bear the thought that I might die someday without having actually told her.
I don't regret the decision, but I do miss her.
Posted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 9:36 am
It seems I'm doomed to never love the women I'm with, and always love the women I can never have. I know that's a horrible thing to say, especially for those who I've been in relationships with, but for some reason when I fall in love I create this invisible boundary for neither of us to cross. It's like love and relationships are mutually exclusive for me.
Plus, there are usually other circumstances, such as I wait too long and she finds someone else or I find someone else, but we still engage in that coy friendship bordering on romance that we had before. And although I might always feel the everpresent melancholy of what-could-have-been, I have no regrets for anything that I've done.