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is Charlotte cheating on her Husbend? could we frase what happened as cheating?

"[quote:763d66fc58="Anonymous"]is Charlotte cheating on her Husbend? could we frase what happened as cheating? [/quote:763d66fc58]
Nope."

No. but Charlotte's not quite sure how to get hubby to give her more love, attention and understanding

This could be classified as an "emotional affair". It's not quite the real thing, but it's not far from it, either. Bob and Charlotte are definitely turning to each other for things they should already be receiving from their partners. The reality is that these needs are not being met, which is what legitimizes the relationship (in the context of the film).

I think Charlotte is mentally cheating on her husband, but thats only because he is already mentally cheating on her with his career. His career always comes before Charlotte and she is sick of coming second all the time.

I think the foyer seen where Charlotte and her husband run into Kelly proves this, straight away John starts acting weird trying to be cool in front of Kelly. You can see Charlotte give him that quick "wtf" stare as he introduces her and then starts bouncing around holding his nose cause of Kelly's BO.

Also in the telephone conversation Charlotte has she says "John is using hair products...I dont know who I have married".

I wonder if they do eventually stay together....??

I liked the way Charlotte didn't let John off-the-hook. When he tries to over-compensate for his interaction with Kelly by putting his arm around Charlotte, she immediately sees through the act, and pulls his arm off of her. She already senses something is rotten in Denmark.

Yeah, I agree about the way John acted in front of Kelly. He laughed at everything she said, and the way he said "moishi moishi" made me cringe (but it was supposed to)

BTW, this is my first post on these forums! I'm so happy. I got tired of the imdb boards, where there is so much ridiculous criticism of this movie. I now feel among other true LiT fans!

Welcome home, new guest ! You have come to the right place. We are the true, die-hard LiT fans. Register and sign in, and you'll have access to the lounge area. Plus, JohnMonkey might throw in a Park Hyatt toaster. Let us know what your thoughts are on the film; we're always eager to discuss them here.

Blissbomb wrote:I think Charlotte is mentally cheating on her husband, but thats only because he is already mentally cheating on her with his career. His career always comes before Charlotte and she is sick of coming second all the time..

Also, look at the photos that Charlotte takes out: John has taken them and he's always at the centre of them.

Does LIT promote marital infidelity? I'm a relatively happily married man and after seeing LIT and having many of the same feelings as forum users, I keep finding myself hoping more and more to have more experiences similar to the movie. Although it's not cheating in the most literal sense of the word, there was obviously an emotional connection between Charlotte and Bob. Also, if these experiences are encouraged, couldn't it happen once that something goes too far?

Not a criticism of the movie, just an open ended question.

At what point are you being unfaithful? Is it just thinking about another person other than your partner. Is it an accidental meeting and connecting with someone. Everyone seems to have different views on where the line is drawn on a relationship. As I have said in previous posts that most people are happy to lead mundane lives without venturing out of there safety zone. Others need the adventure, they need it to survive, to stop going crazy.

Another point in the movie is the duration of the meeting. All up I think it went for seven days, anymore and it could have lead to a mistake, anyless and they could have left with the wrong impression. I think that most LIT moments only last for 4-5 days maximum, after that the same old life problems start to pop up.

Blissbomb wrote:Another point in the movie is the duration of the meeting. All up I think it went for seven days, anymore and it could have lead to a mistake, anyless and they could have left with the wrong impression. I think that most LIT moments only last for 4-5 days maximum, after that the same old life problems start to pop up.

Great point! I think another point is that although there are varying opinions on this issue in this forum, I don't believe Charlotte will ever meet Bob again. I think she is resigned to the fact that he is committed to his familiy and another rendezvous would ruin the memories they have.

I keep this in mind if I stumble on another LIT moment.

(deleted)

switchtosake wrote:Does LIT promote marital infidelity? I'm a relatively happily married man and after seeing LIT and having many of the same feelings as forum users, I keep finding myself hoping more and more to have more experiences similar to the movie. Although it's not cheating in the most literal sense of the word, there was obviously an emotional connection between Charlotte and Bob. Also, if these experiences are encouraged, couldn't it happen once that something goes too far?

I first saw this question a couple of days ago, and have given it a bit of thought since then. I don't think LiT promotes infidelity, at least not outright. What it does is acknowledge that sometimes there are elements missing from our primary relationships and our lives, and our partners are not always the ones that can help us to put things into perspective.

Bob and Charlotte provide each other with a fresh outlook on their situations, and manage to stay clear of anything unsavory at the same time, about the best you can hope for in this kind of relationship. It's very difficult to share your thoughts and feelings with someone else to that extent, and not have an affair, though.

Bob and Charlotte's relationships with their spouses have succumbed to a sort of shallow communication. Lydia's faxes and phone calls seldom touch on anything below surface noise, and it's only when Bob seems to be acting strangely (hot tub scene) that she shows any real concern for him. But she does show concern, and that's what's important. And even though John is busy doing who-knows-what in Fukowaka, he takes the time out to draw a picture and fax it to Charlotte, even though he will see her later that day. These are marriages having rough patches, not marriages ready for the scrap heap. They just need fine-tuning, and that's what Bob and Charlotte do for each other. I think that is what LiT is encouraging.

Hey hull, that's a wonderful thesis.

Yes, Marriages aren't all abotu physical things. Marriage is emotional and having an emotional relationship with someone else like that of your spouse is cheating.

I can't help but think that he has a point. Do I feel like I cheated with that woman at the bar? No...because I didn't let ANYTHING GO ANY FURTHER. I do think that if I had a prolonged emotional relationship with her that it would be cheating. I think that short term purely emotional relationships are healthy ways of experessing ones needs.

hull_street wrote: I first saw this question a couple of days ago, and have given it a bit of thought since then. I don't think LiT promotes infidelity, at least not outright. What it does is acknowledge that sometimes there are elements missing from our primary relationships and our lives, and our partners are not always the ones that can help us to put things into perspective.

Bob and Charlotte provide each other with a fresh outlook on their situations, and manage to stay clear of anything unsavory at the same time, about the best you can hope for in this kind of relationship. It's very difficult to share your thoughts and feelings with someone else to that extent, and not have an affair, though.

Bob and Charlotte's relationships with their spouses have succumbed to a sort of shallow communication. Lydia's faxes and phone calls seldom touch on anything below surface noise, and it's only when Bob seems to be acting strangely (hot tub scene) that she shows any real concern for him. But she does show concern, and that's what's important. And even though John is busy doing who-knows-what in Fukowaka, he takes the time out to draw a picture and fax it to Charlotte, even though he will see her later that day. These are marriages having rough patches, not marriages ready for the scrap heap. They just need fine-tuning, and that's what Bob and Charlotte do for each other. I think that is what LiT is encouraging.

WELL said..; i liked roger ebert's point (in his review of the movie, somewhere on this site) about how the type of things that Bob and Charlotte talk to each other about (life, marriage, the meaning of it all) could only happen with a stranger. I don't know how to describe it, but if i was going through what either of them went though, i don't think i would be able to fully confide in my best friend (male or female). Thats just me...maybe im weird...

ps: hull i like ur avatar image...whered u get it? anyone know how to make a "moving image" or wutever like hull's icon...?

"[quote:9dec8ea130="jml98"]WELL said..; i liked roger ebert's point (in his review of the movie, somewhere on this site) about how the type of things that Bob and Charlotte talk to each other about (life, marriage, the meaning of it all) could only happen with a stranger. I don't know how to describe it, but if i was going through what either of them went though, i don't think i would be able to fully confide in my best friend (male or female). Thats just me...maybe im weird...[/quote:9dec8ea130]

It's like an internet relationship (so-called) made real. Sending all these text-messages back and forth, being very open and honest in them, and then you just kind of separate, because that's how it goes.

There's a good school paper in that idea...."

jml98 i like your image. Where did you get it?