hmm, not that ridiculous, in fact. but, i should clarify something. they never were an item. but for one night, they never shared anything but a friendship. and then she always maintained that she did not love him back (and tbh, the way he acts isn't that of a person in love but one with an infatuation. love is respect, and he gives her none), that she only thought of him as a friend. of course, i can't tell you completely honestly that she did or didnt say these things without actually being there. that's what i'm going there tonight to try and find out. but i get the idea that after their night together, he couldn't let go of the idea that he had a chance with her. she told him before that she thought of him as a friend only, but he still kept on going. he learnt that we were spending a lot of time together from friends, and i don't know exactly what they told him. but she never confirmed or denied that we were a couple. to be fair, he didn't even want to know about me, and apparently they didn't talk about me much. but he accused her of lying to him about me, and i suppose it could be considered a lie of omission. that may be the case. but then, what was there to lie about? that we were together? what did it matter to him? she already told him she thought of him as a friend only. whether we were a couple or not is of no relevence to him. she was seeing me exclusively. they were never an item.
and just think for a second. she may have been wrong to ignore him. but what gave him the right to put their friendship on the line like he did? or to get angry at her so many times? if he really values her as a friend, or if he loved her and respected her, he wouldnt put this burden on her. one may have been a lie of omission, the other an intentional act to push her away. all because of his jealousy and anger. he fixated on an idea that they were together when that was never the case, and she did tell me she made this clear if nothing else. the only lie i see is the one he made to himself to think he was with her in the first place. whether or not she lied to him about me is besides the point. you don't need to justify your relationships to friends. it sounds like he was never anything but delusional. never an item, no relationship, no breakup. nothing. that much is clear to everyone.
put simply, this is what i see. he finds out she doesnt love him and discards her. fine. i'd be happy to see him go away.
my 'charlotte'
Moderator: Bob
Silvermoon, you have to at some point come to the realization that Charolette is NOT the victim in this relationship with Jughead. Go back a few pages and read about the other X who still thought he was in a relationship with her. Sorry to be so blunt, but this young lady has a history of stringing men along, and some day it is going to be you that thinks your in a relationship with her, and finds out that she really considers herself to be a couple with someone else.
She has a problem with cleanly severing ties with the men that she has had a relationship with. I don't even at this point think it is a problem, but more her MO. She likes the jealousy and drama that these loose ties that she leaves hanging around stir up.
I was a young girl once, a long time ago
. I had a few men declare their love for me, and would in no way have felt comfortable trying to have ANY kind of relationship with someone who had those type of deep feelings for me. Being their friend would entail hanging out with them, displaying to them the traits about myself that attracted them to me. It would not make those loving feelings they had go away, but conversely would just make those feelings stronger, and the continued contact make them feel that there is some chance, some where down the road that they could win my affections.
When someone declares their love to you, you don't "not respond" to that, and continue seeing them. This is basically what you previously had said she did with Jughead. It is very easy to see that if he did not believe they were still in a relationship, he at the very least saw a potential for one down the road. And his reactions and actions toward her have nothing to do with him not being a good friend to her, but more to the fact that SHE was not being a friend to him. She was playing him, to feed off the jealous reactions that he was having, and to induce jealous reactions in you.
This is a dangerous game that she is playing, that is going to end up not only possibly hurting you (the person that we here are concerned about) but also is going to end up hurting herself in the long run.
As the WAW self proclaimed "mom", I have to say that the most heartening thing I have read on this thread in awhile is that you have not yet consumated your relationship with this young lady, and I hope that you decide not to, until she ceases to play these games with you. I know of too many young men, who lost their head once they became physically envolved with their first young woman. You do not need to have that extra baggage to deal with as you try to sort through what you percieve is happening with Charolette, and what really is.
Your only hearing one side of her relationships with these other "friends", but you must admit that there seems to be a pattern here in how they are reacting to her. Either she is attracted to men that act this way, or she is doing something to provoke this reaction. She is not a victim.
She has a problem with cleanly severing ties with the men that she has had a relationship with. I don't even at this point think it is a problem, but more her MO. She likes the jealousy and drama that these loose ties that she leaves hanging around stir up.
I was a young girl once, a long time ago
. I had a few men declare their love for me, and would in no way have felt comfortable trying to have ANY kind of relationship with someone who had those type of deep feelings for me. Being their friend would entail hanging out with them, displaying to them the traits about myself that attracted them to me. It would not make those loving feelings they had go away, but conversely would just make those feelings stronger, and the continued contact make them feel that there is some chance, some where down the road that they could win my affections.When someone declares their love to you, you don't "not respond" to that, and continue seeing them. This is basically what you previously had said she did with Jughead. It is very easy to see that if he did not believe they were still in a relationship, he at the very least saw a potential for one down the road. And his reactions and actions toward her have nothing to do with him not being a good friend to her, but more to the fact that SHE was not being a friend to him. She was playing him, to feed off the jealous reactions that he was having, and to induce jealous reactions in you.
This is a dangerous game that she is playing, that is going to end up not only possibly hurting you (the person that we here are concerned about) but also is going to end up hurting herself in the long run.
As the WAW self proclaimed "mom", I have to say that the most heartening thing I have read on this thread in awhile is that you have not yet consumated your relationship with this young lady, and I hope that you decide not to, until she ceases to play these games with you. I know of too many young men, who lost their head once they became physically envolved with their first young woman. You do not need to have that extra baggage to deal with as you try to sort through what you percieve is happening with Charolette, and what really is.
Your only hearing one side of her relationships with these other "friends", but you must admit that there seems to be a pattern here in how they are reacting to her. Either she is attracted to men that act this way, or she is doing something to provoke this reaction. She is not a victim.
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silvermoon
- Suntory Time
- Posts: 223
- Joined: Fri Aug 12, 2005 6:48 pm
today, i've been occupied, so she went and met Jughead. they had an argument again yesterday, and she was angry at him. they went for a drink together today anyway. just left. she was slightly pissed so she stepped out and felt very cold. i ask her what she'll be doing, she says she'll go home. i ask if Jughead will be going to her room with her. she says maybe.
that's it. i've had enough. thanks for the advice, people. i've been ignorant and stubborn for a while now. i've reached my limit. excuse me while i pick up the pieces of my broken heart.
i probably won't be posting for a while. really i have nothing left to say. you've been steps ahead of me and i've finally caught up. she's the past, it's just taken me this long to realise it. thank you and good night
that's it. i've had enough. thanks for the advice, people. i've been ignorant and stubborn for a while now. i've reached my limit. excuse me while i pick up the pieces of my broken heart.
i probably won't be posting for a while. really i have nothing left to say. you've been steps ahead of me and i've finally caught up. she's the past, it's just taken me this long to realise it. thank you and good night
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hull_street
- WooHoo Guy
- Posts: 181
- Joined: Thu Jun 24, 2004 9:05 pm
- Location: Baltimore, MD
I'll second that. What this community has in common is that we are very tuned-in to the subtleties of situations and actions. Don't beat yourself up. You were simply too close to this to see it with the perspective you needed. It was your own precisely-worded and brutally-honest descriptions of what was happening that allowed us to see these things, which also means that you saw them the whole time, as well. What we were picking-up-on was the result of years of collective experiences, ones that you are only now starting to have.
Don't leave, Silvermoon. This hurts, but you'll be surprised at how soon you're dusting-yourself-off from it. And having friends who understand where you are right now helps.
And will you please, please, please call that other girl from class now?
We all look forward to hearing about your future exploits.
Don't leave, Silvermoon. This hurts, but you'll be surprised at how soon you're dusting-yourself-off from it. And having friends who understand where you are right now helps.
And will you please, please, please call that other girl from class now?
We all look forward to hearing about your future exploits.
Yeah, don't stop posting. You had the guts to come on here and tell us this stuff. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You're getting clear of a messy situation and will hurt for a short while. This young woman has caused a lot of pain to more than one person and will have to live with it for God knows how long.
If- and that's a BIG if- we are indeed steps ahead of you, it's because you expressed yourself so well that we could see what was happening. Look, I'm 52 years old, never been married, and have had many girlfriends, and when you wrote this out, I looked at it and said, "Oh, yeah, that's me right there."
If- and that's a BIG if- we are indeed steps ahead of you, it's because you expressed yourself so well that we could see what was happening. Look, I'm 52 years old, never been married, and have had many girlfriends, and when you wrote this out, I looked at it and said, "Oh, yeah, that's me right there."
"Are there no more arrows left?"
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silvermoon
- Suntory Time
- Posts: 223
- Joined: Fri Aug 12, 2005 6:48 pm
omg, i don't know how to say this...i know the reaction this will provoke, but i've gone this far already and i might as well put it out there. i just hope you don't hate me by the end. but for sure, any lingering respect will be lost.
the other night, i called her to speak about what had happened. she told me that she had met Jughead because he needed her help moving away into uni. this much i already knew and accepted, even tho i was very uncomfortable with it, but friends are friends and these things must be done, and i wont spite someone just because they cause me problems. when she said she felt ill because she drank too much, i ultimately understood that she couldnt be left alone and needed someone to look after her, and i wasnt there. of course, she failed to answer when i asked her why she put herself into that situation in the first place. anyway, Jughead took her back, watched her long enough to be ill then fall asleep, then turned the heater on for her so she wouldnt be cold, locked the door for her, and left.
i was initially very angry at her for doing this, but like i said i understood that she had to help her friend, and so my anger subsided when i spoke to her. she was angry at me for implying that i suspected she might be having an affair, but deep down i knew this not to be true (or hoped it wasnt, and lied to myself for the rest). we ended up calling each other back and forth through the night, ending with a call at 5am to agree to meet each other the next day, culminating in some form of reconciliation. this is the point where your respect and goodwill disappears, but i think i have reasons, which i will explain soon.
the next day, she suspended our meeting for a short while to meet friends, and we met late at night. i told her i felt like going out for a drink, but arrived late, too late for that to happen. i met her at her home, and the first few moments were both awkward and strangely intimate. she was dressed up for a night out (both an elegant and wild style, very tasteful), and we met on the stairs leading to her place. at first, of course it was awkward and tense, but very soon we had loosened up and were smiling to one another again, albeit with limited eye contact at first. when we stepped out, we walked with her under my arm, and we held each other close. ultimately, we found to our dismay that all places were closed, and returned to her home swiftly. i spent the night at her place, and we held each other as we slept.
in the following days, i met her again, and all was forgotten. but there was a shadow lingering over me that does not regard her, which might explain a lot. anyway, we went out for a drink the other night, and we both laid our personal problems before each other. ultimately, i feel we needed each other, even if we were both too proud to accept the others help.
yesterday, i went with her to a party. there were many people from her home country gathered there (being for them and all), and she went around chatting to friends, checking up on me constantly to make sure i was ok and mixing well. the party ended early, and she later told me she was asked to join some friends on a late-night private party, but declined because she wanted me to have a good time without being alienated (her friends tend to stick together and outsiders find it difficult, i'm told), which i really appreciated. but she told me something that really bothered me. we were at the party, and she pointed out a guy who she said was 'her type', who she had told me about before, and who she said she would have been with if it werent for me. she did not go up to him that night, and had not done so since she met me, but it still felt uncomfortable to hear. and i know immediately what everyone is thinking; that she said these things to provoke a jealous reaction from me. her slightly teasing tone would suggest as much. and when we returned to her home for the night, and she told me again that but for one or two flaws he was 'perfect' for her, i couldnt help but feel the same way. she said she wanted to be honest with me about everything, and that ultimately it didnt matter because i am 'the only one she loves', but still it is uncomfortable to hear. matters were made worse by the fact the night was uncomfortable, we slept but at a distance, and i made little effort to hold her as we slept. she was annoyed by this in the morning, and despite talking it through and reconciling i felt an awkwardness between us. she told me she loves me, unprovoked, just out of the blue, and i was thrown a little off-balance by this gesture, as tbh we havnt been this intimate with one another for a while. but even so, she was to leave to go on holiday for 2 weeks today, and as i left her place i felt strangely detached and the goodbyes were slightly strained (edit: i say that, but tbh if i think about it, i wouldnt have written my longest post about charlotte if i wasnt thinking about her. and i admit that she hasnt left my mind since i left. i try to distance myself from her, but she always comes back). i kissed her, on the lips and on the hand, then waved goodbye, and she smiled to me. i told her i loved her, and despite everything i still think i do. maybe i'm lying to myself, maybe i really do, maybe i am addicted to the misery she puts me through (and i put myself through), drawn to the drama queen. i think i feel more comfortable when fighting for her, because it feels like i am in control and taking steps to maintain our relationship, rather than sitting back and letting things happen of their own accord. it sounds strange and masochistic for sure, but i really do feel most confident when we are in a crisis and i can do something to overcome it. when we are comfortable together, i am so insecure that i feel, and she feels, like we are just waiting for another problem to come along, and we become uncomfortable and create our own problems so that we can show to ourselves the strength of our relationship. how low that we need to prove ourselves to ourselves, and how narcissistic. in keeping us together, i know i'm just prolonging the inevitable, but i think i have a reason.
my parents have decided to get a divorce. they're taking steps to split the assets and then sign on the dotted line. its been building up my whole life, indeed i cant remember a time when they werent fighting. and i admit i have become numbed to it, to the point of indifference. i encouraged my mother to do it so that she can finally free herself, but at the same time i think it might be a mistake. she has no income of her own, and has little way of doing this with few qualifications. so she loses either way. and i told her i would support her financially when i could, but realistically thats years away. but steps are being taken, and it seems inevitable. at the same time, i will be spending the xmas period by myself this year, as my family will be away together and i will be at home. and i cant stay at uni because everyone is moving out. i feel very isolated for the first time in my life. i'm sure of it, that is why i am still putting myself through all this with 'sometime charlotte', because i do admit to feeling alone at times, even when i go to my physical home (physical because it doesnt feel like home anymore; that is whenever i am with charlotte). and clearly, i persevere with charlotte despite our problems because of the way i have seen my parents fighting my whole life, and it is the norm to me. maybe that makes me immune to it, or maybe it is a form of catharsis to see me overcoming troubles with charlotte, but i know this much; i am mentally incapable of giving her up at this point in my life. for all the troubles, misery and pain she has caused, with or without intent, she is all i have right now
the other night, i called her to speak about what had happened. she told me that she had met Jughead because he needed her help moving away into uni. this much i already knew and accepted, even tho i was very uncomfortable with it, but friends are friends and these things must be done, and i wont spite someone just because they cause me problems. when she said she felt ill because she drank too much, i ultimately understood that she couldnt be left alone and needed someone to look after her, and i wasnt there. of course, she failed to answer when i asked her why she put herself into that situation in the first place. anyway, Jughead took her back, watched her long enough to be ill then fall asleep, then turned the heater on for her so she wouldnt be cold, locked the door for her, and left.
i was initially very angry at her for doing this, but like i said i understood that she had to help her friend, and so my anger subsided when i spoke to her. she was angry at me for implying that i suspected she might be having an affair, but deep down i knew this not to be true (or hoped it wasnt, and lied to myself for the rest). we ended up calling each other back and forth through the night, ending with a call at 5am to agree to meet each other the next day, culminating in some form of reconciliation. this is the point where your respect and goodwill disappears, but i think i have reasons, which i will explain soon.
the next day, she suspended our meeting for a short while to meet friends, and we met late at night. i told her i felt like going out for a drink, but arrived late, too late for that to happen. i met her at her home, and the first few moments were both awkward and strangely intimate. she was dressed up for a night out (both an elegant and wild style, very tasteful), and we met on the stairs leading to her place. at first, of course it was awkward and tense, but very soon we had loosened up and were smiling to one another again, albeit with limited eye contact at first. when we stepped out, we walked with her under my arm, and we held each other close. ultimately, we found to our dismay that all places were closed, and returned to her home swiftly. i spent the night at her place, and we held each other as we slept.
in the following days, i met her again, and all was forgotten. but there was a shadow lingering over me that does not regard her, which might explain a lot. anyway, we went out for a drink the other night, and we both laid our personal problems before each other. ultimately, i feel we needed each other, even if we were both too proud to accept the others help.
yesterday, i went with her to a party. there were many people from her home country gathered there (being for them and all), and she went around chatting to friends, checking up on me constantly to make sure i was ok and mixing well. the party ended early, and she later told me she was asked to join some friends on a late-night private party, but declined because she wanted me to have a good time without being alienated (her friends tend to stick together and outsiders find it difficult, i'm told), which i really appreciated. but she told me something that really bothered me. we were at the party, and she pointed out a guy who she said was 'her type', who she had told me about before, and who she said she would have been with if it werent for me. she did not go up to him that night, and had not done so since she met me, but it still felt uncomfortable to hear. and i know immediately what everyone is thinking; that she said these things to provoke a jealous reaction from me. her slightly teasing tone would suggest as much. and when we returned to her home for the night, and she told me again that but for one or two flaws he was 'perfect' for her, i couldnt help but feel the same way. she said she wanted to be honest with me about everything, and that ultimately it didnt matter because i am 'the only one she loves', but still it is uncomfortable to hear. matters were made worse by the fact the night was uncomfortable, we slept but at a distance, and i made little effort to hold her as we slept. she was annoyed by this in the morning, and despite talking it through and reconciling i felt an awkwardness between us. she told me she loves me, unprovoked, just out of the blue, and i was thrown a little off-balance by this gesture, as tbh we havnt been this intimate with one another for a while. but even so, she was to leave to go on holiday for 2 weeks today, and as i left her place i felt strangely detached and the goodbyes were slightly strained (edit: i say that, but tbh if i think about it, i wouldnt have written my longest post about charlotte if i wasnt thinking about her. and i admit that she hasnt left my mind since i left. i try to distance myself from her, but she always comes back). i kissed her, on the lips and on the hand, then waved goodbye, and she smiled to me. i told her i loved her, and despite everything i still think i do. maybe i'm lying to myself, maybe i really do, maybe i am addicted to the misery she puts me through (and i put myself through), drawn to the drama queen. i think i feel more comfortable when fighting for her, because it feels like i am in control and taking steps to maintain our relationship, rather than sitting back and letting things happen of their own accord. it sounds strange and masochistic for sure, but i really do feel most confident when we are in a crisis and i can do something to overcome it. when we are comfortable together, i am so insecure that i feel, and she feels, like we are just waiting for another problem to come along, and we become uncomfortable and create our own problems so that we can show to ourselves the strength of our relationship. how low that we need to prove ourselves to ourselves, and how narcissistic. in keeping us together, i know i'm just prolonging the inevitable, but i think i have a reason.
my parents have decided to get a divorce. they're taking steps to split the assets and then sign on the dotted line. its been building up my whole life, indeed i cant remember a time when they werent fighting. and i admit i have become numbed to it, to the point of indifference. i encouraged my mother to do it so that she can finally free herself, but at the same time i think it might be a mistake. she has no income of her own, and has little way of doing this with few qualifications. so she loses either way. and i told her i would support her financially when i could, but realistically thats years away. but steps are being taken, and it seems inevitable. at the same time, i will be spending the xmas period by myself this year, as my family will be away together and i will be at home. and i cant stay at uni because everyone is moving out. i feel very isolated for the first time in my life. i'm sure of it, that is why i am still putting myself through all this with 'sometime charlotte', because i do admit to feeling alone at times, even when i go to my physical home (physical because it doesnt feel like home anymore; that is whenever i am with charlotte). and clearly, i persevere with charlotte despite our problems because of the way i have seen my parents fighting my whole life, and it is the norm to me. maybe that makes me immune to it, or maybe it is a form of catharsis to see me overcoming troubles with charlotte, but i know this much; i am mentally incapable of giving her up at this point in my life. for all the troubles, misery and pain she has caused, with or without intent, she is all i have right now
Last edited by silvermoon on Thu Dec 22, 2005 11:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Just Like Honey...
- Suntory Time
- Posts: 398
- Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2004 10:56 pm
- Location: Prince Edward Island, Canada
HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 
Time for us to raise our glasses and temporarily forget everything that, for lack of a better word, just sucks.
Alright.. I'll bite..
What's the latest haps? I'm still on the edge of my seat!
Time for us to raise our glasses and temporarily forget everything that, for lack of a better word, just sucks.
Alright.. I'll bite..
What's the latest haps? I'm still on the edge of my seat!
I'd rather be a gear in a big, deterministic, physical machine than just some random swerving.
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silvermoon
- Suntory Time
- Posts: 223
- Joined: Fri Aug 12, 2005 6:48 pm
actually, theres little to report. we're still together, and actually very stable as far as i can tell. we're currently in the middle of uni xmas holidays and have exams in a couple of weeks, so theres a bit of pressure on us both that is keeping us apart to revise, as she prefers to study alone.
at the start of the holidays i found it hard to cope with being apart from her, and made a problem out of nothing, facilitated by the fact she was under a lot of pressure at the time, but that was only a minor bump that came out of circumstance. problem made and smoothed over in a matter of days, so no biggie. we exchanged xmas gifts and i think we were both pleased. mine is opened but still in the box it came in, and the card is still in its envelope. it was a very sweet card that obviously took a lot of effort to make and i'm very happy to receive it, and the words touched me greatly. and i went to see her yesterday and my card is still perched in her room, and she has even taken great care with the wrapping the present came in.
when i saw her she was all smiles, and even optimistically referred to what i had planned for our 100th day together. which i somewhat dodged, seeing as how badly the planning is going. i hoped to have a personalised journal with her name embossed on the cover and my posts written up and adapted, just as Ith suggested way back when (thank you!). but theres been difficulty finding somewhere that provides this kind of product, especially at a price suitable to a poor student, whose income is already stretched to breaking over the xmas period (for her, not me). on top of that, theres the added problem of exams restricting my time and hers. and on top of that, my hopes of cooking her a romantic dinner were dashed firstly by the fact that candles would burn down my hall, and second by the simple fact i can't actually cook. if anyone has a recipe for fried beef in a sweet curry sauce then you would be my saviour (she likes that very much). oh yeah, and have to remember to get lilies. that day comes on jan 10th, so not long to go, and even less time to spare with exams coming up. but here's hoping it all comes together.
over the holidays, i went home and stayed for a week and a half. i was by myself for a few days over xmas but at least i had the mighty season 1 of 'lost' to watch, which frankly was my most interesting xmas in a long time. i didnt stop thinking about her the whole time, and largely resisted the urge to keep calling her. i eventually met her the day she left to come back to uni, and the first moment that i saw her was a stunning release. we were very cheery together, had lunch and coffee. oh, and she got a kick out of the fact a woman walked in on me in the toilet of the coffee bar because the lock was broken (back was turned. phew). the teasing has been relentless, but i've missed this sort of thing greatly. we laid in bed together, and i said that i had missed this. 'being lazy in bed?' she said. i told her i just missed her. but tbh, i've missed just being relaxed and carefree with anyone. she's one of the only people in my life who give me that just with their presence, the sense that i can be uninhibited, that appearances dont matter, that i can say anything and receive warmth and care in return. that sort of liberation is strangely very hard to find. i've never opened up to someone the way i have with her, and i've never had such caring reactions from anyone else. now that i'm on the other end of a rough patch (my parents have stabilised a bit, and they still plan to divorce, but not at breakneck speed), i can safely say that at times when the walls are closing in one tends to fixate on the bad things. and diminish the good. i did exactly that for a while, but being honest i wouldnt change a moment that i've shared with my charlotte. there were many reasons why i adopted such a pessimistic mood for so long, but none were because i dont love her. i look forward to our 100th day together, and all the days after that. i know i'll enjoy the ride every step of the way.
edit: ok, i realise the irony of beginning my post with 'not much to report', and tbh theres more to be elaborated on, but i have to study a bit tonight. darned 'lost' ruins everything...anyway, happy new yr to everyone here, hope this yr is kind to us all. good to be back
at the start of the holidays i found it hard to cope with being apart from her, and made a problem out of nothing, facilitated by the fact she was under a lot of pressure at the time, but that was only a minor bump that came out of circumstance. problem made and smoothed over in a matter of days, so no biggie. we exchanged xmas gifts and i think we were both pleased. mine is opened but still in the box it came in, and the card is still in its envelope. it was a very sweet card that obviously took a lot of effort to make and i'm very happy to receive it, and the words touched me greatly. and i went to see her yesterday and my card is still perched in her room, and she has even taken great care with the wrapping the present came in.
when i saw her she was all smiles, and even optimistically referred to what i had planned for our 100th day together. which i somewhat dodged, seeing as how badly the planning is going. i hoped to have a personalised journal with her name embossed on the cover and my posts written up and adapted, just as Ith suggested way back when (thank you!). but theres been difficulty finding somewhere that provides this kind of product, especially at a price suitable to a poor student, whose income is already stretched to breaking over the xmas period (for her, not me). on top of that, theres the added problem of exams restricting my time and hers. and on top of that, my hopes of cooking her a romantic dinner were dashed firstly by the fact that candles would burn down my hall, and second by the simple fact i can't actually cook. if anyone has a recipe for fried beef in a sweet curry sauce then you would be my saviour (she likes that very much). oh yeah, and have to remember to get lilies. that day comes on jan 10th, so not long to go, and even less time to spare with exams coming up. but here's hoping it all comes together.
over the holidays, i went home and stayed for a week and a half. i was by myself for a few days over xmas but at least i had the mighty season 1 of 'lost' to watch, which frankly was my most interesting xmas in a long time. i didnt stop thinking about her the whole time, and largely resisted the urge to keep calling her. i eventually met her the day she left to come back to uni, and the first moment that i saw her was a stunning release. we were very cheery together, had lunch and coffee. oh, and she got a kick out of the fact a woman walked in on me in the toilet of the coffee bar because the lock was broken (back was turned. phew). the teasing has been relentless, but i've missed this sort of thing greatly. we laid in bed together, and i said that i had missed this. 'being lazy in bed?' she said. i told her i just missed her. but tbh, i've missed just being relaxed and carefree with anyone. she's one of the only people in my life who give me that just with their presence, the sense that i can be uninhibited, that appearances dont matter, that i can say anything and receive warmth and care in return. that sort of liberation is strangely very hard to find. i've never opened up to someone the way i have with her, and i've never had such caring reactions from anyone else. now that i'm on the other end of a rough patch (my parents have stabilised a bit, and they still plan to divorce, but not at breakneck speed), i can safely say that at times when the walls are closing in one tends to fixate on the bad things. and diminish the good. i did exactly that for a while, but being honest i wouldnt change a moment that i've shared with my charlotte. there were many reasons why i adopted such a pessimistic mood for so long, but none were because i dont love her. i look forward to our 100th day together, and all the days after that. i know i'll enjoy the ride every step of the way.
edit: ok, i realise the irony of beginning my post with 'not much to report', and tbh theres more to be elaborated on, but i have to study a bit tonight. darned 'lost' ruins everything...anyway, happy new yr to everyone here, hope this yr is kind to us all. good to be back
"i hoped to have a personalised journal with her name embossed on the cover and my posts written up and adapted, just as Ith suggested way back when (thank you!). but theres been difficulty finding somewhere that provides this kind of product, especially at a price suitable to a poor student, whose income is already stretched to breaking over the xmas period (for her, not me)."
Your welcome!
When I was in college, they had "Composition Books" that were pretty cheap. Not as romantic sounding perhaps as an engraved journal, but appropriate, as it is written during your college days...and you could always find some way to decorate it with artwork, Contact Paper, or photos. Just an idea.
Glad you had a good holiday, and Good Fortune in the New Year to all at WAW.
Your welcome!
When I was in college, they had "Composition Books" that were pretty cheap. Not as romantic sounding perhaps as an engraved journal, but appropriate, as it is written during your college days...and you could always find some way to decorate it with artwork, Contact Paper, or photos. Just an idea.
Glad you had a good holiday, and Good Fortune in the New Year to all at WAW.
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silvermoon
- Suntory Time
- Posts: 223
- Joined: Fri Aug 12, 2005 6:48 pm
oh dear...i just realised the complications of adapting these posts for my journal, which i just got and have 5 days to complete, because of all the negative things written of late. of course, in an ideal world, i could write everything here word for word and there would be no problem, but being realistic thats not a good idea. i'm having a bit of difficulty filling it out now because of all the things that would have to be weeded out or changed...
on top of that, i'm thinking of what else to put in it. i'm thinking a love poem on the first page (picked one out already, sadly not personally written). apart from that, pictures would of course be good, but all reside on my digital camera and have yet to be printed (and wont be in 5 days). its all a bit bare atm and i'm thinking whether or not giving it to her on the 10th is such a good idea anymore. better to leave it until later when it is fleshed out a bit. just have to hope that cooking dinner, flowers and wine will do the trick for now. btw, if anyone has suggestions for wine (bear in mind that i'm POOR) then pls advise. i know nothing on that topic.
on top of that, i'm thinking of what else to put in it. i'm thinking a love poem on the first page (picked one out already, sadly not personally written). apart from that, pictures would of course be good, but all reside on my digital camera and have yet to be printed (and wont be in 5 days). its all a bit bare atm and i'm thinking whether or not giving it to her on the 10th is such a good idea anymore. better to leave it until later when it is fleshed out a bit. just have to hope that cooking dinner, flowers and wine will do the trick for now. btw, if anyone has suggestions for wine (bear in mind that i'm POOR) then pls advise. i know nothing on that topic.
Wine advice for the college-poor:
In my day, I always heeded the oft-spoken advice (said with an distinct American-urban accent and attitude):
"Ripple make you cripple!!"
That was the very cheap wine of the inner-city; when I got to college we "graduated" to Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill and Annie Green Springs. If we had money, then it was Richard's Wild Irish Rose.
Ah, good times!
Do they have an equivalent to Trader Joe's "Two buck Chuck" in England? Actually, it's 3 dollars now, but pretty good wine for the price (Charles Shaw). You can get good wines for not much money - but since California wines would be imported to you, we're not talking about the same level.
In my day, I always heeded the oft-spoken advice (said with an distinct American-urban accent and attitude):
"Ripple make you cripple!!"
That was the very cheap wine of the inner-city; when I got to college we "graduated" to Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill and Annie Green Springs. If we had money, then it was Richard's Wild Irish Rose.
Ah, good times!
Do they have an equivalent to Trader Joe's "Two buck Chuck" in England? Actually, it's 3 dollars now, but pretty good wine for the price (Charles Shaw). You can get good wines for not much money - but since California wines would be imported to you, we're not talking about the same level.
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silvermoon
- Suntory Time
- Posts: 223
- Joined: Fri Aug 12, 2005 6:48 pm
wow, thanks a lot!
i'm making a sort of oriental style battered beef steak (beef marinated in soy sauce, with a touch of garlic, then dipped in a cornflour and egg white mix and fried, served with a bit of pepper and, if i ever learn to make it, some sort of sweet curry sauce), with a side of rice and some veg, most likely the mushrooms, carrots and onions sitting in the fridge. not the most eclectic mix (or healthy), and have no idea how its all meant to go together, but i have a bottle of whiskey to smash ourselves silly with if it all goes south
anyway, i've learned from my mistakes, so no asparagus. the rest should hopefully work. hope for the best now...and i have just 3 days to get this darned journal together as well. it's gonna take a miracle...
i'm making a sort of oriental style battered beef steak (beef marinated in soy sauce, with a touch of garlic, then dipped in a cornflour and egg white mix and fried, served with a bit of pepper and, if i ever learn to make it, some sort of sweet curry sauce), with a side of rice and some veg, most likely the mushrooms, carrots and onions sitting in the fridge. not the most eclectic mix (or healthy), and have no idea how its all meant to go together, but i have a bottle of whiskey to smash ourselves silly with if it all goes south
anyway, i've learned from my mistakes, so no asparagus. the rest should hopefully work. hope for the best now...and i have just 3 days to get this darned journal together as well. it's gonna take a miracle...
Seeing as how you are overseas, not going to go with a brand name, but I would look for an affordable Merlot, or Pinot Noir with the menu you have suggested here. A petite syrah would also be nice.
If the two of you are not into reds at all (these are all pretty light bodied for reds), a different direction based on the oriental style menu might be a plum wine. Very sweet, but may match nice with the oriental style.
With the carrots, onion and mushrooms, you may want to try steaming or sautee'ing them with a bit of ginger and a touch of soy.
If the two of you are not into reds at all (these are all pretty light bodied for reds), a different direction based on the oriental style menu might be a plum wine. Very sweet, but may match nice with the oriental style.
With the carrots, onion and mushrooms, you may want to try steaming or sautee'ing them with a bit of ginger and a touch of soy.
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silvermoon
- Suntory Time
- Posts: 223
- Joined: Fri Aug 12, 2005 6:48 pm
thanks very much for that, i think a plum wine will be perfect. she likes a red so maybe i'll get one as well and see how far my money will take me. and there are vegetables ready to be sauteed sitting in the fridge. its all good. and the journal is coming together well i think. i have a poem on the inner cover (sadly not personally composed...) and a hand drawn pic on the next page, followed by a page of words to do with love (that's right) in a foreign language. here's the pic...(LOL how corny...)
now to write up the posts and do some editing and adapting. ahahaha its all coming together!! just need to get some lilies...
edit: ok so the journal is finished. and somehow i managed to write 80 pages with diagrams, comic strips and stupid rubbish liberally scattered about. erm...i hope she likes it...
now to write up the posts and do some editing and adapting. ahahaha its all coming together!! just need to get some lilies...
edit: ok so the journal is finished. and somehow i managed to write 80 pages with diagrams, comic strips and stupid rubbish liberally scattered about. erm...i hope she likes it...
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silvermoon
- Suntory Time
- Posts: 223
- Joined: Fri Aug 12, 2005 6:48 pm
oh fgs....well, all the plans have gone to hell. the exams are proving to be more of a difficulty to us than we had hoped, and sadly being the responsible individuals we are (damn responsibility...) work has prevailed over pleasure and now we're stuck revising, with little to no time to spare. i must confess that at first i was deeply disappointed (plum wine, a syrah, not a petite syrah sadly due to its comparative rarity, cooking ingredients, ice cream and the journal all postponed or consumed after their 'use-by date'...), but it has been tided after she was nice enough to call me and discuss the situation. finally, i persuaded her not to consider it at all due to the impending exams, and leave it for another day. 100th or not, tomorrow is just another day, but all that matters is that i love her. days come and go. if nothing else, this gives me the opportunity to hone my cooking to perfection to blow her socks off later. oh well, that's that.
on second thought, i think i'll deliver flowers to her tomorrow, and leave everything else for another day.
on second thought, i think i'll deliver flowers to her tomorrow, and leave everything else for another day.