I don't know why I'm here

Message

lostwithouther · #1 Post by **lostwithouther** » Mon Jan 02, 2006 5:52 am

I don't know any of you. Maybe its the anonymity of the net, the impersonal obscurity that is allowing me to come here, this insignificant little corner in all the great vastness of cyber ephemera, and allowing me the comfort to express to no one all the things I can't say to those I really do share connection with. So I'll proceed as if no one's going to ever read this, because I'm pretty sure no one will.

Today is the anniversary of the end of my engagement. Its been one year to the day I last saw my love. It was a relationship full of passion, both good and bad, and we both share some responsibility in its disintegration. But despite the facade I wear for those who care about me, I still miss her terribly.

So why chose this of all places for this declaration of my absolute despair? Lost in Translation had a special place for us. Our meeting mirrored the film in many ways, and when the movie came out, we were astonished and enthralled that a piece of fiction could so closely resemble our lives. It only made sense that our honeymoon include a trip to Tokyo and a stay at the Park Hayatt. It was a trip that I ended up taking by myself, hoping to find some closure. It didn't help.

I know I'm not making much sense. That probably has to do with sleep deprivation, a little leftover champagne, and a couple of Clonezapam with a diazepam chaser. But I just needed to say it.

Babydoll, I miss you so.

Congruous · #2 Post by **Congruous** » Tue Jan 03, 2006 9:28 am

"Absolute despair" is heavy language. Let it go. There's nothing wrong with missing someone, but not getting on with your life is a big mistake.

And here's proof someone read your post.

silvermoon · #3 Post by **silvermoon** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 7:56 pm

congruous is right, and its definitely worth listening to those on this forum. we're all here for different reasons but everyone here shares something in common, a capacity to listen and advise thoughtfully on issues such as this. its good to hear from a new member

lemoncupcake · #4 Post by **lemoncupcake** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 10:31 am

lostwithouther,
they're right,what you're going through must feel like pure hell but you can't hide and mask it all with alcohol,klonopin and valium. those things aren't going to get you to where you need to be. if you need to talk,and let things out we're all here for you.