just letting it all out..

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Picknick
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just letting it all out..

#1 Post by Picknick » Thu May 18, 2006 3:55 pm

goodday to you, whoever is reading this.

I just felt like spilling my guts, y'know just trying to get things of my chest. I have been trying to do this for about a month now but still, little succes..
First i should introduce myself, sorry bout that, I'm nick. And like you all a huge fan of the movie. Let me tell you about my heartache.
Yes a Love thing. What else could make one feel like this.
First of all i'd like to say, i'm going to tell you about this from my point of view and i'd like to point out that the woman in question is a good person at heart.

She was my best friend since i was 14. We didnt live in the same city but we had letters and msn and so on. I felt like she was my rock y'know. (We actualy met in a chatroom by accident and ended up swapping adresses) I was 18 now and was invited at her place for a halloweenparty. We ended up kissing the morning after (to cut a long story short) and i was in my first real relationship. Finding "the one" had always been my biggest dream. So, you couldnt find a happier man at that time. Now she meant everything to me. I wanted to share every step trough life with her. And wanting to see her happy had always been my priority. At first i suppose everything was just peachy. But (my mistake ofcourse) since we could only see each other in the weekend due to the long distance between us, i started giving up all my hobby's. I thought she was more important then all those things.. like sports and drawing and stuff. So i kinda gave it up to have more time with her.

She on the other hand always had something to do and it wasnt long before it was "Her way or the highway" I feel like in that time i had done so so so much for her.. and we never did anything i liked anymore. Now things weren't as bad as mentioned above at the time. Do you know the feeling how at the time you might not see a problem but afterwards everything becomes clear? its something like that. So it was kinda my fault for always tagging along.

I have always been somewhat of a romantic. (i have my flaws no question) for example i once read a dictionairy and marked all the sweet words or words that reminded me of her, then decorated it and gave it as a valentines present. I also spent weeks painting her. She was my first real painting every.. When she was sick i spent my entire afternoon on a train to get to her to bring her a rose. i only had an hour to be with her and take care of her till i had to take my train back home. When she needed a massage or anything i'd always do those things without whining..

It suddenly started to annoy when i never got (or not much anyway) any of that affection back. In fact the harder i tried to be sweet the more she would take it for granted..

Altough i dont believe she would ever cheat or something like that. She spent alot of time with other people rather than me. She went to the movies and pizza hut and shopping with this guy who i thought was a real jerk. i remember i told her how i felt about it, and i ended up apologizing.. i don't know why cause it turns out after this guy couldnt get what he wanted out of my Xgirlfriend he started hitting on her little sister (which was just so sick.. he was 26 she 16) I never did get an apology from Eve (which is my X her name)

another example: i had to take medication for a while during the relationship and felt pretty weak physicaly because of that. She never once came visit me when i was sick..

On vacation without any reason really, she started calling me names "you're stupid for example" i counted about 27 insults a day.. nice vacation huh.. and i still put up with it. I thought things would change.

In fact i couldnt handle this anymore and wanted to break up. i gave her a new chance however. Things didnt change much. She didnt call me any more names but i still did so many things for her and all i asked in return was to go see a movie i really really wanted to see. She REFUSED..

I put up with it till we we're together for 2years and 4 months. I couldnt be happy anymore and she suggested we break up. I thought yea, this is for the best. I still thought of her as my best friend. But she broke promises.. wasnt there for me. And got a new boyfriend just like that.

That was IT for me. I've broken all contact since last month. I feel so stupid for doing all these things for her for so long.. and for saying things like you're the one and i love you a thousand times, for wanting to die for her.. i feel so stupid. Also my Soul is quite busted. And she doesnt seem to care. She's having fun with her new boyfriend i suppose and she's prob mad because i broke all contact. She's not a bad person but i got really hurt out of all this.

Don't think i miss her or anything like that, im not blind anymore.
I just feel like i gotta start a new life.. i have alot of anger in me. I feel naive and stupid. I know im still young, im almost 21. But i don't believe in much anymore.. and i doubt if i believe in true love, which is what i always thought i lived for. i feel lost. im ok. im doing fine. But im lost.
No one can grow in the shade

I65
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#2 Post by I65 » Thu May 18, 2006 11:24 pm

There is no need to feel naive and stupid. Everyone goes through a "first love". Rarely is it also the "last or lasting love". We learn and grow from it. We learn what signs to watch for.

You had a two year relationship, things could have been so much different. She could have gotten pregnant, and you could have ended up bound to her for the rest of your life. You would have ended up hating each other. You don't have that.

Now you have these wonderful memories. You will always have this beautiful memory of the young man that road the train to bring his love a rose when she felt ill.

Take time for yourself, to nurture the wounds. Be glad that you were able to end it before it was too late. Enjoy these days, they will be gone soon enough.

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Flyonthewall
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#3 Post by Flyonthewall » Fri May 19, 2006 2:48 am

Ithildriel couldn't have summed it up any better. I know its easy for me to say this since I'm an outsider to your heartache but trust me when I say the majority of us.. of people in general... have gone through what you're going through now. I know it doesn't make it hurt any less..Yes, it hurts... a lot. But know that this makes you stronger and wiser.

Take from it what you can, the good memories, the butterflies you felt when you were with her, all that..

Anger is normal but don't let it consume you and dictate your life. Life is a continuous learning process and if you learn something in the process, then there the experience wasn't a waste.

Keep posting and Im sure that one of us will be here to reply and try to help you through this.
"...Stay here, with me...."

The Search for Charlotte continues....

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mothling
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#4 Post by mothling » Fri May 19, 2006 7:11 am

I agree with the others. Try not to let your resentment towards her cloud all the good things you experienced during your time with her.
i know that diamonds mean money for this art, but that's not the shape of my heart.

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Picknick
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#5 Post by Picknick » Fri May 19, 2006 8:55 am

thank you very much for taking the time to read this people. It feels really good to read these outside perspectives.

Yeah. I know feelings of anger and resentment will only cause more damage. And i hate those feelings. I feel like i can forgive her for things but i don't think i can forget yet. And, i don't know what you guys think but i feel it's for the best that i don't have contact with her at the moment. Most of my friends agree but there's one friend that thinks one day i'll want to talk to her again someday, but i don't think its soon. I feel like i need to rebuild my life for a big part, and be a bit selfish and look to myself. She isn't trying to contact me anyway, i feel like im something she just threw away to her, no need for me to be in her life at the moment. I have my principles and won't be treated that way right? So no contact seems the best i think.

And it's indeed a fact that things could have been worse, and i have learned alot from this experience (i should keep that in mind more often)
No one can grow in the shade

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Picknick
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#6 Post by Picknick » Tue May 23, 2006 1:37 pm

hey gents and misses.

I have this feeling like i'm back to my old romantic self :) i'm really feeling pretty fine and not as lost anymore. Hehe i actualy saw this cute girl at the trainstation today. She looked beautiful but at the same time really natural. I hope i can get the courage to say hi to her at some point. I'd love to know what she's like :)
No one can grow in the shade

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mothling
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#7 Post by mothling » Tue May 23, 2006 2:19 pm

Good to hear that you are feeling better.

PS: And go for it with the girl at the train station. You only live once. ;)
i know that diamonds mean money for this art, but that's not the shape of my heart.

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Picknick
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#8 Post by Picknick » Tue May 23, 2006 2:29 pm

thank you dear mothling

i'll be be up all night thinking about a good opening line :D and i'm good at writing poems so i'll have a go at that eventhough i don't know her, but i'm sure i'll find something.
No one can grow in the shade

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dbm
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#9 Post by dbm » Tue May 23, 2006 6:03 pm

Picknick wrote:thank you dear mothling

i'll be be up all night thinking about a good opening line :D and i'm good at writing poems so i'll have a go at that eventhough i don't know her, but i'm sure i'll find something.
Goodluck :wink:
"The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you."

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Flyonthewall
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#10 Post by Flyonthewall » Wed May 24, 2006 12:25 am

Picknick wrote:hey gents and misses.

I have this feeling like i'm back to my old romantic self :) i'm really feeling pretty fine and not as lost anymore. Hehe i actualy saw this cute girl at the trainstation today. She looked beautiful but at the same time really natural. I hope i can get the courage to say hi to her at some point. I'd love to know what she's like :)
Glad to see you're feeling better :D

This is an interesting quandry for ya. heh...Has there been some sort of exchange between you two? Looks, a smile, something that lets you know she's noticed you too?

If thats so, maybe its just as simple as walking up to her and introducing yourself :wink:

In any event.. I wish you well :D
"...Stay here, with me...."

The Search for Charlotte continues....

I65
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#11 Post by I65 » Wed May 24, 2006 1:42 am

If your thinking about picking up a girl at the train station, don't watch this movie first...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0398017/



Image

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Pitman
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#12 Post by Pitman » Wed May 24, 2006 11:23 am

Ithildriel65 wrote:If your thinking about picking up a girl at the train station, don't watch this movie first...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0398017/
LOL

Picknick...let us know what happens.

On my way back from British Columbia (Canada) I had a stop over in Edmonton. I was walking around the terminal and noticed a very cute Asian lady walking around. I passed her by twice wanting to say hello, but never did. I'm not sure why I didn't, but I wanted to. This was a missed opportunity, and you just never know where these things will take you. It never hurts to say "hello".

I think "hello" or "hi" is the best opening line. Then you get to see how she responds to you. You could try following it up with a compliment on her hair, or what she's wearing. Nothing too extreme, just a casual comment to show that you like her. Then just be spontaneous and keep the conversation in the moment and down to earth. I think women appreciate honesty and being straight forward without too much pretension or smart pick-up lines.

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#13 Post by Nak Nak » Wed May 24, 2006 11:50 am

Glad you're doing ok now. Good thing you got out of the obviously unfulfilling relationship.

On the subject of pick up lines, don't ever, ever, ever use these:
(Unless you're in a situation where you can make them sound funny - joking around is probably one of my favourite ways to get to know someone, at least initially)

"did it hurt?"
"what?"
"...when you fell from heaven!"
(groan)

"Damn girl, is your dad a terrorist cuz you is the bomb!"
----------------
It's a godawful small affair
To the girl with the mousy hair

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Flyonthewall
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#14 Post by Flyonthewall » Wed May 24, 2006 6:47 pm

Nak Nak wrote:Glad you're doing ok now. Good thing you got out of the obviously unfulfilling relationship.

On the subject of pick up lines, don't ever, ever, ever use these:
(Unless you're in a situation where you can make them sound funny - joking around is probably one of my favourite ways to get to know someone, at least initially)

"did it hurt?"
"what?"
"...when you fell from heaven!"
(groan)

"Damn girl, is your dad a terrorist cuz you is the bomb!"
LMAO good ones Nak.. :D
"...Stay here, with me...."

The Search for Charlotte continues....

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Picknick
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#15 Post by Picknick » Thu May 25, 2006 7:04 am

I haven't seen "Derailed" yet hehe

And well, about the girl at the trainstation. I'm just so glad i finaly have this feeling like i can turn over a new leaf, y'know. It's time for a new story.

And yeah i wouldn't use a cheesy pickup line :D I thought i'd just say hello and maybe ask what/where she studies or something. Also i haven't seen her anymore, if i do i'll surely say hello. But who knows she might end up having a terrible personality, so i'm not getting all excited just yet. She sure looked cute though, wavy brown hair and this special cute cute cute natural face :)
No one can grow in the shade

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Picknick
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#16 Post by Picknick » Thu May 25, 2006 7:08 am

Ow yea I forgot to mention when i saw her, i couldn't stop staring at her. She looked at me a few times but i couldn't say if she was smiling. I'm too shy, i kept looking quickly to the floor over and over again as she was looking at me..
No one can grow in the shade

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Pitman
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#17 Post by Pitman » Thu Jul 27, 2006 8:52 am

Picking up this thread after several months of inactivity...I wanted to also mention about entering relationships...I've been there where you want to give everything you have to another, you would do anything for them. This is a very romantic and selfless gesture. But what I've found out is that if it takes you away from your own centre, makes you stop doing the things that you like to do, pulls you away from who you are as an individual, then it's not right. It's so important to maintain a sense of who you are through the whole romantic process and not become pulled into the extreme behaviour of giving up the things YOU like to do and what makes you uniquely you. It's not selfish to take care of yourself first. And you'll find that you will gain more respect from the other sex if you don't make yourself an open welcoming mat for their wishes all the time.

:-)

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Picknick
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#18 Post by Picknick » Fri Jul 28, 2006 3:19 pm

I couldnt have phrased it any better!
thats just exactely what i have learned out of all that :)
No one can grow in the shade

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