Feeling old
Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 10:23 am
Sometimes it just hits me – and it really has the last few weeks – and then really bad last night. Kids keep you young – but they also define how much time has past and how quickly.
We broke down and got a HiDef TV and it was delivered last week. It took a while to get it set up right, but it’s really a dramatic difference. Even our old video tapes look much better on it. And so my wife and I have been watching many of them.
Now of course it’s been a long time since they were little. In fact, it’s been a long time for a long time now (if that makes sense). But as we watched a tape of my oldest son’s eighth grade graduation, it really hit me hard that it’s been a long time since that seemingly recent event. Over ten years. My wife’s late brother was in the tape of the party we had. He’s been gone nine years this week. I just remember how year after year we’d have several events with our kids – science fairs, concerts they played or sang in, sporting events, religious ceremonies, graduations. Now they are all in college or beyond. I don’t even have any teenage children anymore.
So I’ve been feeling this empty nest thing for a while – and of course that’s a major driver in my whole quest for settlement in my life. And now one more major thing has hit home. My oldest son is moving out – getting an apartment with his girlfriend.
Now I need to say this- I’m ecstatic that their relationship progressed this far – and in less than a year. Last year at this time I worried he’d ever have a serious relationship because I know my wife’s and my relationship impacted him negatively more than the other two children. But we’ve both been telling him what our mistakes were and that he can learn from them and grow with her. He is ready to take that next step – and I’m happy for him. And feeling like another page has turned. And feeling a sort of urgency to move on myself. And I have to control that urge because it will be counterproductive to achieving what I want.
As Paul Simon wrote and sang:
Time hurries on
And the leaves that are green
Turn to brown
And they wither in the wind
And they crumble in your hand.
OK – I meant to write much more about how I’ve been feeling but it’s pointless. I just want to close with the admission that I’ve wanted to share this and more for a while, and I chose today to do it for a special reason. If you’re lurking – I’m thinking of you today, Ith. I hope it’s a happy & special day for you!
We broke down and got a HiDef TV and it was delivered last week. It took a while to get it set up right, but it’s really a dramatic difference. Even our old video tapes look much better on it. And so my wife and I have been watching many of them.
Now of course it’s been a long time since they were little. In fact, it’s been a long time for a long time now (if that makes sense). But as we watched a tape of my oldest son’s eighth grade graduation, it really hit me hard that it’s been a long time since that seemingly recent event. Over ten years. My wife’s late brother was in the tape of the party we had. He’s been gone nine years this week. I just remember how year after year we’d have several events with our kids – science fairs, concerts they played or sang in, sporting events, religious ceremonies, graduations. Now they are all in college or beyond. I don’t even have any teenage children anymore.
So I’ve been feeling this empty nest thing for a while – and of course that’s a major driver in my whole quest for settlement in my life. And now one more major thing has hit home. My oldest son is moving out – getting an apartment with his girlfriend.
Now I need to say this- I’m ecstatic that their relationship progressed this far – and in less than a year. Last year at this time I worried he’d ever have a serious relationship because I know my wife’s and my relationship impacted him negatively more than the other two children. But we’ve both been telling him what our mistakes were and that he can learn from them and grow with her. He is ready to take that next step – and I’m happy for him. And feeling like another page has turned. And feeling a sort of urgency to move on myself. And I have to control that urge because it will be counterproductive to achieving what I want.
As Paul Simon wrote and sang:
Time hurries on
And the leaves that are green
Turn to brown
And they wither in the wind
And they crumble in your hand.
OK – I meant to write much more about how I’ve been feeling but it’s pointless. I just want to close with the admission that I’ve wanted to share this and more for a while, and I chose today to do it for a special reason. If you’re lurking – I’m thinking of you today, Ith. I hope it’s a happy & special day for you!