I did explain what I disagreed with in regards to posts on that thread, and did my best to address the posts, and not the posterI'm sorry to see that this topic is generating friction among the members.
When new people join invariably different personalities may conflict over the way they communicate things and we may not always know or understand where people are coming from given the written medium or may just disagree with how they communicate.
I would ask that any personal conflicts stop immediately in this topic and take it to PM if desired. When I get the chat going again you can take it to chat.
If someone disagrees with someone regarding a posting here, explain what it is you disagree with that was said specifically and suggest alternative tactics such as for example with regards to Pitman's dating techniques.
I would also say that given that the bulk of the conversation here is between Pitman and Pockets, if Pitman himself doesn't have issues with how Pockets relates to him then let's just leave it at that. Personally I have found the conversation to be very interesting.
Not to open a big can of worms, but this thread has made me uncomfortable as well. Giving advice is one thing, but the quote congruous posted was more dictatorial than advisory. Your stereotyping of women and ethnic groups on this thread also has been bothering me. I don't know much about Asian culture, so I wont address that, but your repeated insistence that all women think the same way you do has been bothering me for awhile now.
I did exactly that in this post.explain what it is you disagree with that was said specifically and suggest alternative tactics such as for example with regards to Pitman's dating techniques.
Rather than addressing the issues of stereotyping, Pockets chose to begin stating her assumptions about me as facts, and drag another board members name into our disagreement.Frankly, what you have said in this post actually makes me less comfortable with the advice that you are giving him. I don't know how much her senior he is, but basically you are giving him a play book to trick this younger woman into falling for him.
My advice to Pitman would be to not play games. If you truly want to help each other with language skills, then by all means do. I would however, let her know that you would like to see the relationship eventually develop into more than a friendship. I'm not saying to smother her with how attractive you think she is etc, but be honest about your intention. If she says she's not interested, you know where she stands, and you can both decide if you are comfortable continuing on as friends. That takes away some of your anxiety, you can be yourself, instead of trying to fit some mold to win her over. Once you release that, and are able to be your comfortable self around each other, sparks may just fly, or you may find out that your image of her was more what you wanted than her.
If she finds out down the road that you were helping her for reasons different than what you professed, you may end up without a friend as well as a 'Charlotte'.
The fact is, that I rarely read a complete post from Pockets. I have seen her stereotype entire groups (Jewish, men, women, and Asians off the top of my head) and am very uncomfortable when I read this type of bigotry. I have held back saying anything regarding this, up until now. I've tried to ignore the generalizations and stereotyping, but this board is a small enough community, and she is a prolific enough poster that it is difficult.
Because of issues that I have seen on other boards, where people will manipulate a personal message and post it on a general forum, I will not exchange PM's with someone that I do not trust, and I do not trust Pockets. This is your board to run as you will, and I have enjoyed my time here. However, my comfort here has been diminished by feeling that I am unable to express my distaste on the forum when I come across posts that I find are embroiled in bigotry.I would ask that any personal conflicts stop immediately in this topic and take it to PM if desired. When I get the chat going again you can take it to chat.
If Pockets can restrain herself from posting her armchair psychiatry regarding me and discontinue her attempts to categorize me on the public forums, I will do my best to ignore her posts that I find distasteful. I will not, however, use the PM system to communicate with her. If this is an unsatisfactory solution for you, I will take my leave.