Life is like a box of chocolates...

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Pockets
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Life is like a box of chocolates...

#1 Post by Pockets » Tue Mar 27, 2007 11:41 am

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you will get."
-Forest Gump

And also too are the membership of these message boards. We find them by chance, they are free to join and although we are all on this particular message board because of our love for LiT, we are all different and coming from all walks of life, cultures and several countries.

Having a common cause or interest doesn't mean that all of our personalities will get along. Just as if you joined a gardening or cooking club, or an autocross club, while you will all have a common passion bringing you together, you will not be best friends with everyone there.

My proposal is that Ith and I just avoid each other. With some of the other message boards, there is an option to ignore certain users. As we don't have that feature here, I think that we can manage as adults, to just avoid all interactions with each other. Think of this message board as a small cocktail party, casual and we have the option of drifting towards the conversations that interest us. And if there is some loud and obnoxious person in the kitchen, then we gracefully gravitate towards the living or patio instead.

And I also propose that anyone who doesn't like a current thread, just avoid it and start some of your own threads and make them of the quality that you see lacking in others. Instead of criticizing others, set a better example by making your own posts of higher quality.

My posts are just being myself. The only way that Ith might be happy with them is if I pm them to her first for approval and editing. Right now I find her behaviour very territorial with issues of control. It's only a message board and a very small and quiet one at that. Even thought she's been a member a lot longer than I, we are still on equal footing. I believe that we are even in the same age group. This assumption of hers that old school members are better than the new one is very immature and smacks of the attitudes of the more immature message boards where the average age of the membership is 20 years of old.

Her calling my posts "armchair psychiatry" is unnecessarily harsh and mean. This is America with our tradition of Ann Lander and Ask Beth. Then we have all the shows like Dr. Phil, plus those forensic tv shows like Law & Order: Criminal Intent and my favorite, Criminal Minds. Then add in all the movies, both the romance and more dramatic ones, but in all of these examples, the character buildup is key to a believable story line. Surrounded by all of this, I think it natural to have opinions on other situations and relationships.

And I find her thread and posts of the last several days more hurtful of this board more than any of my posts. I will not enter her thread again, and just not respond to any of her posts regarding this situation.

And again, for the record I have always felt her help to 52FM to be a positive and supportive one. I came across so many public references to her help that I did not think it inappropriate to make mention of them and I thought that any mention of her help was respectful. And just as she cared about 52FM's situation, I care about Pitman's.

Anyway.... *puts Ith's posts on ignore*

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#2 Post by 52FM » Tue Mar 27, 2007 12:39 pm

I find myself unable to leave this topic because in some sense I feel responsible for it. It's a personality flaw that I'm working on and this has surprisingly made me lose some ground in that fight.

In my explanation post I tried to provide enough of a summary to show that the situations you are comparing are not really comparable. Ith and I have a history that dates back to sometime around June of 2005. In addition, it was not my desire to make so much detail lately so public.

For what it's worth, your posts to Pitman are more straight advice coupled with support; the post Congruos referred to - with your using bold type for the word "we" - had more a flavor of gentle reprimand for not following through on your advice. That was the basic comment. From that came the opinion that your posts were very specific and of the flavor of how to "catch" a girl rather than develop a natural freindship. Again - these were impressions. And I think Pitman might do well to consider them - as I have considered EVERY opinion or comment made to me on this board (not just those by Congruous or Ith.)

But the issue seemed to be "well - since 52fm has expressed details and Ith supported him, why can't we?" And again - I just don't see the similarity (but maybe I'm blinded by my own problems). Ith's point was clear about this - the issue of appropriate or not shoudl not hinge on me or anything I wrote. I think Ith knew I would react with regret and a certain amount of guilt over seeing me used as a comparion and almost justification - and thus her reaction to your referecing me.

And in fact she was right. But I realize clearly that the problem with that is mine, not yours. (And I'm paying a lot of money to help solve that among many other things.)

The fact that I seem to be respected by several members on this board (many of them no longer regular posters) came after a long period of time too. That said, maybe I've been granted a "license" of sorts. Beleive me, I've often suspected many people see my topics and think "Oh my God - there he goes again! Why don't you just leave her if your so damn miserable?" And maybe I've taken advantage of that to an inappropriate degree.

And in the end - a lot of it was a maybe inapproriate way of letting Ith know how things were progressing. I've looked back at posts over the last several months and I now regret many of them. The fact is - if things were the way I think they shoudl be, Ith and I would be calling each other from time to time, emailing each other somewhat frequently, and not interacting on a board at all. That's why the situations are not comparable. We've developed a friendship that had been unnaturally cut off rather than allowed to continue to develop (or not) on its own. A friendship that was important to both of us - and yet one that put Ith in a no win situation.

So maybe this IS good fortune. Since I shouldn't be talking to her even through this board - this has forced an ending to even that.

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#3 Post by Ithildriel » Sat May 26, 2007 1:40 am

Fortunately I was gone before you posted this pockets. I will just assume that this was some lashing out in the heat of the moment. Hopefully we can put this episode behind us, and both enjoy the board in our own way.

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#4 Post by Pockets » Sat May 26, 2007 10:59 am

Welcome back Ith. I don't consider this thread to have been created to "lash out at you in the heat of the moment." I didn't want to sully your vent thread and just wanted to state my thoughts on the subject of interacting with others on an internet message board. At the time, you were the only with her panties in a twist, I was just puzzled and shocked by your reaction. I've been an active member of five other message boards for the last five years and I've never experienced the same reaction to my posts from any of them. In addition, we are both around the same age. But again, this is a very very tiny message board with about 6 active posters and this board can go for days without a new post.

Anyway, I haven't thought about the incident since you left. I welcome you back to the board sincerely.

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#5 Post by Pockets » Sat May 26, 2007 2:26 pm

And Ith, if any of my posts rub you the wrong way, please PM me first and let's try to resolve it in private. With that thread on Asian women, there was no way for you to know my background and that I'd already exchanged a number of PM's with Pitman on that subject.

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#6 Post by Ithildriel » Sat May 26, 2007 2:29 pm

Pockets wrote:Welcome back Ith. I don't consider this thread to have been created to "lash out at you in the heat of the moment." I didn't want to sully your vent thread and just wanted to state my thoughts on the subject of interacting with others on an internet message board. At the time, you were the only with her panties in a twist, I was just puzzled and shocked by your reaction. I've been an active member of five other message boards for the last five years and I've never experienced the same reaction to my posts from any of them. In addition, we are both around the same age. But again, this is a very very tiny message board with about 6 active posters and this board can go for days without a new post.

Anyway, I haven't thought about the incident since you left. I welcome you back to the board sincerely.
Well, thank you for letting me know how you feel. If you are stating that you feel your initial post is a true characterization of who I am, and what occurred then I will choose not to find your welcome sincere. I did not come back to get into this with you again. You are obviously either incapable or unwilling to understand what my point was, or who I am.

As my last post to you, I will for one last time request that you not present as facts your opinions on me, such as

"you were the only with her panties in a twist"

"The only way that Ith might be happy with them is if I pm them to her first for approval and editing. "

"This assumption of hers that old school members are better than the new one is very immature and smacks of the attitudes of the more immature message boards where the average age of the membership is 20 years of old."

"Right now I find her behavior very territorial with issues of control. "

I don't think that is too much to ask.

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#7 Post by Tombo » Sat May 26, 2007 6:38 pm

Is this a private cat-fight or can anyone join in? :wink:

Life is waaaay too short,guys. Let's say we kiss and make up...or I'll tell teacher. :D

Tom xx

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#8 Post by Pockets » Sat May 26, 2007 7:18 pm

Same old Ith... You're the one that bumped up this thread from the dead and accused me of lashing out at you. And just to refresh your memory, you're the one that struck out at me first in that other thread. I wasn't the instigator of that mess.

Now how about we stay out of each other's threads and never reply to one another in the other ones? That works fine for me. :roll:

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#9 Post by Pockets » Sat May 26, 2007 7:38 pm

And I thought that my suggestion to PM me first if you disagree with my posts was a good one. And if I can't explain to you in private why I should have made that post, then go ahead and disagree with my publicly. Why mess up this lovely board with this sort of petty crap? Why make every disagreement with me some sort of public calling out?

I said what I said in the Asian attraction post because I've had to endure certain attitudes as a Chinese-American woman for the 20 some odd years I've been dating. My college roommate was Japanese-American, my mother remarried a Caucasian, my Chinese uncle married a Caucasian, plus being in the car scene, I seen much Western love and desire for JDM (Japanese domestic market) girlfriends. In addition, I have a close girlfriend that is a counselor at a girls college and another one that used to counsel war veterans. I consider myself well-read. Between the different jobs that I've held, I've also had a chance to meet and interact with an extraordinarily large and diverse amount of people in my lifetime.

So I feel that if I have experienced certain situations firsthand over and over, I am entitled to feel a certain way and should be exempt from being accused of stereotyping or using armchair psychology. Why would I not think about my life experiences and not come to some conclusions of the human condition?

Yes, I know that I have opinions and strong ones at that. And they stand out more in a message board with such a low daily postcount average. Disagree with them if you wish, but please disagree with the opinion and present your opposing viewpoint in an objective and civilized way, and without any childish name-calling or put-downs.

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#10 Post by Ithildriel » Sat May 26, 2007 8:47 pm

Pockets wrote:Same old Ith... You're the one that bumped up this thread from the dead and accused me of lashing out at you. And just to refresh your memory, you're the one that struck out at me first in that other thread. I wasn't the instigator of that mess.

Now how about we stay out of each other's threads and never reply to one another in the other ones? That works fine for me. :roll:
You made this thread, I was mentioned into it, and responded to it upon my first read of it. Had you not wanted a response from me, you have had almost 2 months to delete it.

My initial post here was an attempt at saying, I will forgive these personal attacks and assumptions that you have made against and about me, as being made in the heat of the moment. You have stated that they were not, and that this is how you feel. If someone posts that I am immature, controlling, territorial, and not accepting of new board members, and when I try to brush it off as something just said in the heat of the moment, and they maintain that their perceptions are correct as posted, I think I have a right to believe that their welcome is insincere.

I never struck out at you pockets. I made some observations about your posts. You decided to make it personal. I have asked you several times to stop the personal assumptions, statements, analysis, whatever you want to call these jabs you keep making at me, you continued and yet I still only addressed your posts. I never called your posts armchair psychiatry. What I asked was that you not post armchair psychiatry about me, which was a term that I used to describe you posting your assumptions about me as fact.

As I said before I left, I will not pm anyone that I don't trust, and I don't trust you. I will read and post to whatever threads that I choose, whether they are yours or not. I will not make any further comments regarding your posts that make me uncomfortable, I will just ignore them. Post to me or not as you like, I wont take the liberty to assume that I have the right to tell you that you cannot respond to my posts.

I had hoped that when I came back, we could just put this behind us. We obviously have a gap in our communications, since my initial and subsequent posts on this thread were not made to incite, yet you see them that way.

As for this
Disagree with them if you wish, but please disagree with the opinion and present your opposing viewpoint in an objective and civilized way, and without any childish name-calling or put-downs.
You may want to reread that, and reread my posts. I have not called you any names, or put you down personally. If I have, feel free to post them here, and I will apologize. You on the other hand, have made assumptions about me, posted them as fact, and continue to stand by them. Perhaps you should heed your own advice?

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#11 Post by Ithildriel » Sat May 26, 2007 8:49 pm

Tombo wrote:Is this a private cat-fight or can anyone join in? :wink:

Life is waaaay too short,guys. Let's say we kiss and make up...or I'll tell teacher. :D

Tom xx
I am more than willing to forgive.

As for the kissing, you are just looking for some girl on girl action, aintcha? :wink:

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#12 Post by Pockets » Sun May 27, 2007 11:27 am

Ithildriel wrote:I had hoped that when I came back, we could just put this behind us. We obviously have a gap in our communications, since my initial and subsequent posts on this thread were not made to incite, yet you see them that way.

As for this
Disagree with them if you wish, but please disagree with the opinion and present your opposing viewpoint in an objective and civilized way, and without any childish name-calling or put-downs.
You may want to reread that, and reread my posts. I have not called you any names, or put you down personally. If I have, feel free to post them here, and I will apologize. You on the other hand, have made assumptions about me, posted them as fact, and continue to stand by them. Perhaps you should heed your own advice?
There was never any need to delete this thread, but maybe you do. I suppose that I should have asked for this one to be locked.

When I made this thread, I wasn't angry at you, just frustrated at your online tantrum. The thread wasn't me lashing out at you but it was inspired by you and to a much lesser degree to Congruous. I didn't want to enter your vent thread and turn it into a fight. If anything, I just wanted everyone to be more tolerant of the other members. This is not a message board by invitation only sent only to close friends, rather it's composed of people who love the movie and happen here by chance. We are a very random group of people. Just as in the beginning of my membership, I couldn't guess how close you and 52FM were as supportive internet friends, you and Congruous couldn't know that Pitman and I had also been in deep PM discussion over his trying to date his Chinese girl.

The old Ith accused me of stereotyping and the use of armchair psychology.

And my suggestion to you and everyone else is, if someone's posts irk you to the point of exasperation (and ignoring them is not an option), then talk it out by PM sooner than later. Don't let the annoyance build up to the point of getting permanently mad at them.

My current objection is to your posting this:
Fortunately I was gone before you posted this pockets. I will just assume that this was some lashing out in the heat of the moment.
And I wanted to make it very clear that this thread was NOT my lashing out at you in the heat of the moment. There is no lashing and absolutely no heat towards you. I just don't care for your poor choice of phrasing with the use of "lashing" and "heat". Maybe I am now being the picky one, but I was raised on BBC productions and my parents have a real dislike for sloppy English usage.

Anyway, I am done with this thread and perhaps Bob_san can lock it. Before that happens, I imagine that Ith will want to get the last word in.
:roll:

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#13 Post by Tombo » Sun May 27, 2007 1:59 pm

Pockets wrote:
Anyway, I am done with this thread and perhaps Bob_san can lock it. Before that happens, I imagine that Ith will want to get the last word in.
:roll:
Can I have my 'girl on girl' action first? 8)

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#14 Post by Ithildriel » Sun May 27, 2007 2:29 pm

Pockets wrote: There was never any need to delete this thread, but maybe you do.
I don't understand this sentence.
Pockets wrote: I suppose that I should have asked for this one to be locked.
I feel that locking threads should be up to the board administrator. Why would anyone feel that they had a right to post their opinion, and then have the admin lock the thread so that everyone could read their opinion, and not respond to it?
Pockets wrote: When I made this thread, I wasn't angry at you, just frustrated at your online tantrum. The thread wasn't me lashing out at you but it was inspired by you and to a much lesser degree to Congruous. I didn't want to enter your vent thread and turn it into a fight.
Your declaration that my thread to Bob-san was an online tantrum, or a vent demonstrates to me that you are either unwilling or unable to understand that thread was not about you. It was about my feeling that I could not speak up on this forum when someone posted something I disagreed with, or made me feel uncomfortable. A feeling that I had before you arrived at this forum.

Pockets wrote: If anything, I just wanted everyone to be more tolerant of the other members. This is not a message board by invitation only sent only to close friends, rather it's composed of people who love the movie and happen here by chance. We are a very random group of people. Just as in the beginning of my membership, I couldn't guess how close you and 52FM were as supportive internet friends, you and Congruous couldn't know that Pitman and I had also been in deep PM discussion over his trying to date his Chinese girl.
Where is your tolerance for other people posting their opinions? You have suggested in this thread that if people read your posts, and disagree that they should pm you so you can explain yourself. It makes it sound as though based on your extensive life experience that none of us could match, our only option is to agree that you are correct in all of your statements, and should be exempt from anyone publicly questioning your statements, or expressing discomfort over the manner that you made them.
Pockets wrote: The old Ith accused me of stereotyping and the use of armchair psychology.
You have stated in other threads that your vast life experience should exempt you from being accused of stereotyping. Some of your posts make assumptions that an individual will react a certain way based on their race, sex, or religion as per your views on the group you assign them to. You have been free to express these generalizations on the board numerous times. Is it really so wrong that I express that I see these posts as stereotyping and it makes me uncomfortable? I didn't follow you around quoting every post that bothered me. I didn't call you names. I said it what would have been only one time, had you not continued to try and justify your position and right to make these generalizations. As I said above, when I come across these posts in the future, I will ignore them. You have the right to express your opinion, and I have already expressed mine regarding the subject.

I guess that the hardest part for me to understand about this is that you don't deny that you make posts assuming that individuals will react in a predetermined way based on their sex, race, religion or culture. Your only problem seems to be with my pointing out that I see those posts as stereotyping. Stereotyping is only a word, pockets, and a much gentler one than some others that could be used to describe that behavior.
Pockets wrote: And my suggestion to you and everyone else is, if someone's posts irk you to the point of exasperation (and ignoring them is not an option), then talk it out by PM sooner than later. Don't let the annoyance build up to the point of getting permanently mad at them.
The PM issue has been beaten to death, so I wont address it again. I am not permanently mad at you, or anyone. I was never mad at you. Frustrated that you stated personal opinion about me as fact, which I referred to as armchair psychiatry, and asked you to desist from repeatedly. Despite your request to approach this civilly, which I believe I have throughout this thread, you continue to post negative comments about me. I wont go through and quote them all, they are all out their for you to see.
Pockets wrote: My current objection is to your posting this:
Fortunately I was gone before you posted this pockets. I will just assume that this was some lashing out in the heat of the moment.
Why do you continue to object to this? It was my first post. In my second post I let you know that I believe you when you say that the things that you have posted about me were your opinion about me then, and continue to be your opinion about me now. Yes, I hoped that you were just lashing out in the heat of the moment, because to me, that would mean that you didn't truly believe all of those negative things you said about me. I hoped that you were open to us moving forward, at best trying to understand each other, at least agreeing to disagree, and both enjoy the board in our own way.

I have open my mind, and understood where you are coming from, and that my perception of your first post was incorrect. Since I conceded that in my second post, I am unsure what else you expect me to say.
Pockets wrote: And I wanted to make it very clear that this thread was NOT my lashing out at you in the heat of the moment. There is no lashing and absolutely no heat towards you. I just don't care for your poor choice of phrasing with the use of "lashing" and "heat". Maybe I am now being the picky one, but I was raised on BBC productions and my parents have a real dislike for sloppy English usage.
I don't think it was sloppy English. It was an expression of my hope that you did not truly believe what you said about me in those statements. Your repeated put downs of me throughout this thread have made it clear how you feel. Unfortunately your perceptions about me throughout this thread are incorrect, but unless you are willing to open up your mind to the possibility that you are reading my posts with bias, I understand that there is no way at this point for me to change those perceptions.

I would challenge you to reread this thread. To remove your self personally from it, pretend that the board persona pockets is not you. Read through the posts. Are my responses to pockets justified? Have I called pockets names? Have I asked pockets to change her posting style? Have I done anything other than ask to not be continually put down? With such a small community here, it is unfortunate that we cannot both try to understand where the other person is coming from, and if nothing else agree to disagree move on.
Pockets wrote: Anyway, I am done with this thread and perhaps Bob_san can lock it. Before that happens, I imagine that Ith will want to get the last word in.
:roll:
I don't know how to interpret the last line of this post, other than you have deemed this conversation over, that you are unwilling to try to objectively see what I have said here, and what my post to bob-san before I left was about.
Last edited by Ithildriel on Sun May 27, 2007 2:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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#15 Post by Ithildriel » Sun May 27, 2007 2:30 pm

Tombo wrote:
Pockets wrote:
Anyway, I am done with this thread and perhaps Bob_san can lock it. Before that happens, I imagine that Ith will want to get the last word in.
:roll:
Can I have my 'girl on girl' action first? 8)
Cheeky. :P

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#16 Post by Just Like Honey... » Thu May 31, 2007 12:16 am

Someone mentioned here that "this is a very tiny message board with only about six active posters". Well to respond to that, I feel it is my duty to remind you to check the view count on your thread before you post if you feel this way (The "Introduce Yourseld Thread" had over three thousand views last time I checked).

I can assure all of you that I am not the only one who reads every word posted on this forum, and chooses with intermediate discretion when and where to post based on my interest in various topics of conversation. I have been a member of this forum since 2004, and harbor absolutely no feelings of seniority, priority, or status of any kind. I also do not feel the need to justify my presence here by commenting on everything I read, authoring threads consisting only of links or external data unrelated to the site (without commenting/just so other people can comment), or making posts in the Administrivia section asking when my user tag is going to change to "Suntory Time" or to "Celebrate my 250th post". Nor am I concerned with trying to make myself or my personality seem categorical or distinct to either boost my self-esteem, or draw in more attention from other posters.

Having said that, I have tried and tried and tried to no end for weeks or months to understand why this disreputable flame war continues to happen over multiple threads and (believe it or not) multiple forums. I really never thought I would see anything like this on WaW, which is a small part of why I joined in the first place. Sure, I haven't made even a single post in the LIT section of the forum for probably over a year now, and most of our best contributors, present company not excluded, have probably not gotten around to it as much as they would have liked to either, but not everyone is as chatty and ambitious as everyone else, and there is only so much one can say.

One way or another, the relevancy of this entire discussion has been stretched way too thin. I will read no more of it. This will be the first ever happening to successfully snuff out my desire to read every topic/issue/post/subject/thread that goes through here, and this saddens and disappoints me.
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#17 Post by 52FM » Thu May 31, 2007 11:58 am

I certainly can tell you are frustrated - but unfortunately you seemed to have painted with a very broad brush. I think a lot of people can find themselves within the descriptions of posters you wrote - and it seemed as though each of those types were somehow annoying or inappropriate to the this forum in your view.

I know I certainly can see myself in the statement "Nor am I concerned with trying to make myself or my personality seem categorical or distinct to either boost my self-esteem, or draw in more attention from other posters." Maybe I'm misunderstanding you - but it seemed to say that those of us who revealed certain asqpects of thenselves through posting in your view do so to boost self-esteem or draw in attention.

Maybe not - but I couldn't tell the way you wrote in generalities that seemed to be implying specifics.

I want us all to get along too - but that's not realistic nor necessary to have value in this board. While I'm not proacticing what I'm about to preach - I think ignoring things we find objectionable may be a better approach.

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#18 Post by Bob_san » Thu May 31, 2007 7:38 pm

I knew this was going to happen.
I knew as soon as Ith came back and responded to this post - as is her right of course - this was going to happen. But because of what happened last time I kept myself out of this one and just let people express themselves as they saw fit hoping they would reach a conclusion at some point. I could lock this thread the same way I did the other one after it died out. If everyone concerned is done at some point and there are no further replies for some time then I will close it. But if not then clearly in order to find a way to coexist together the people need this space to dialogue so if so then that's that. I know there are a lot of people out there that just lurk and read the forum and I'm happy about that but for them I'm sorry but for those who are not concerned with it can just ignore it.

Anyway, I need to go now and fulfill my primary function these days which is deleting spam user registrations! :?

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#19 Post by Just Like Honey... » Mon Jun 04, 2007 5:05 am

You know what, 52, you're one of my favorite posters on any board (I don't have favorite posters, but I really enjoy your posts) and I always love reading your updates. I never for a minute realized my comments could have been so easily misinterpreted. All of my examples of bad posters come from other forums I had been on over the years, and I feel I share no such negative company here.

There are no bad posters here, and I was just venting my fear that WaW may turn in that direction what with this post sort of turning into a flame war and all. The particular comment you noticed was about people who hide behind their computer screens, sort of invent an ideal alter-ego for themselves, then assume that identity with others whose view of them they wish to control, just to feel better about themselves(Again, I won't bore with details, but I believe we have no such people here).


I really didnt want to post again on this topic but I really don't want to come off as offensive, because I am just anxious over the shifting tides here, and I offer my humble apologies. I'm shutting the book on this one, as I tend to lose myself in things like this. Thank you for having the wherewithall to call me on this, 52. There is no education like adversity.
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Location: In a blue state

#20 Post by Pockets » Mon Jun 04, 2007 1:22 pm

Just Like Honey... wrote:Someone mentioned here that "this is a very tiny message board with only about six active posters". Well to respond to that, I feel it is my duty to remind you to check the view count on your thread before you post if you feel this way (The "Introduce Yourseld Thread" had over three thousand views last time I checked).
I made that comment. And the activity of the board varies greatly month to month. I should have qualified that remark with inserting the word "currently" somewhere in that statement. I believe that the hit counters register daily new hits to each thread. The "introduce yourself" is one that is several years old and dates from the beginning of this message board. However of some of the new threads with no replies, there are only (as of today) 11 hits. And then there is a new thread with 5 replies and 55 hits, so it seems that this week there are 11 active posters and in that thread, they have been revisiting it as they read and reply to it.

Be that as it may, this board has the dynamics and politics of a small office. And some people get along with each other better than others. It's really no big deal, but we should just accept that and move on. But that is why I prefer being self-employed. I am one of those people that doesn't want to chip in for the group office birthday party for someone that I never talk much to and I don't even want an office birthday party thrown for me. I hate getting bad insincere presents and especially being given that Hallmark type special occasions card. To me, it's just a waste of money and much of that overt friendliness fake.

As to people being misunderstood, that happened with some of Pitman's posts and I see it all the time in threads on other boards. Pitman presented a situation about a Chinese woman he wanted to date and more details about their first encounter getting her telephone number came out only much later (the part about the language help). But that is just human nature as his brain prioritized those details and ranked them in importance as he saw them. And I do see from experience, that most posts are only a few lines long and when there are paragraphs, members of other message boards ask for cliff notes because they don't want to read the whole chapter.

Lastly, I assure you that I 100% post as me. This is my real life personality also. I also used a lot of words every day in conversation, even my boyfriend tells me so. Anyway, this thread could have been locked a long time ago. I never wanted it deleted. While it was made in response to the last situation, it was honestly just a general observation and not just about her. And actually I thought I posted it before Ith left the last time, so I don't understand how she could have missed it.

Locked