my 'charlotte'

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I65
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#181 Post by I65 » Mon Mar 06, 2006 11:59 am

There isn't much that I can think of to say. No words of comfort leap to my mind. I am sorry that this happened to you, and as much as it hurts, as much as it seems that the wound is too deep to ever heal, this too shall pass.

Very few people go on to marry their first love. And I believe that many people would say that their first love broke their heart.

All you can do is take what you have learned from the situation, and move on. Use those things you have gained in a positive way to build on your next relationship.

Someday you will find the woman that you were meant to be with. Someone that you appreciate, and who appreciates all that is wonderful about you. In the mean time, you have learned the signs to look for to avoid women that want to play games, and are looking to mearly stroke their own egos by pitting a number of men against each other.

My thoughts, as I am sure many others, are with you on this day.

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52FM
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#182 Post by 52FM » Mon Mar 06, 2006 3:11 pm

Silvermoon - I know that you know that many of us saw this possibility all along. It must hurt tremendously - and I'm sure the pictures hurt as well. It was a momnet in time for a very young woman who undoubtedly felt very satisified with the male attention she was receiveing - feeling very positive about herself in the scenarios with jughead; all the while - that very selfish attitude (perhaps not so unusual at this age) was set up to produce a tremendous hurt on a wonderful person.

DO NOT give in to the temptation to get back with her. that is the best advice I can give. DO NOT. In fdoing so, the message is "I love you so much I will accept pain from you." She has already shown she is willing to inflict it - don't "give her permission".

Ith said "I believe that many people would say that their first love broke their heart." That is very true - and that heartbreak should end right there and not continue off and on through your life.

All my best thoughts are with you!

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#183 Post by Guest » Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:12 pm

Ithildriel65 wrote:Very few people go on to marry their first love. And I believe that many people would say that their first love broke their heart.
Very true!
Mine did (in college freshman year!) and it was a fairy tale relationship until it stopped working and then it went downhill and ended very badly.
It took me a year to get over it but I did and good things happened in the future and so too will good things happen for Silvermoon.

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lemoncupcake
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#184 Post by lemoncupcake » Thu Mar 09, 2006 2:13 pm

Silvermoon, i hope you're feeling a bit better. You really gave all you could with this situation, far more than what you really should've had to. You took the great risk of opening your heart to someone, and all the vulnerabilities that it brings. Because of this, your heart is now stronger. This girl has been terribly careless with your heart, please don't give her the opportunity to do anymore damage to it, you're so much better than that.

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#185 Post by silvermoon » Sun Mar 12, 2006 9:20 pm

somewhere along the way, my innocence was stolen from me. or i misplaced it, i cant decide. its been a slow errosion, but the events of last week caused me to snap. i had noticed myself changing of late, and not even after the first time we made love. that wasnt it. but somehow i began to lose myself, and after last week, i lost myself completely. i was always the innocent, treated her with respect, as a person. the person i loved. and i'd never treated anyone differently. but now i've changed.

the first nights after i found out, i wanted to hurt her. physically, emotionally. i've never hit a woman before and i believe i never would. but that was the closest i ever came. i talked to everyone i knew, told them everything with a complete disregard for her privacy. they all told me to dump her. that would be the only thing to do. i will admit i tried to find someone who would tell me not to, but noone did. and damn right as well.

the day after i found out, i broke up with her. said everything i knew was right. it wont work. i cant trust you. i dont like you. i dont know you. and i left. and then i saw her again that day, and witnessed her breakdown. and she said everything people who are sorry say. and said she was stupid, and jughead used her. and she doesnt deserve me. and cried buckets. she drank, sat in the shower crying. and told me to leave her because she loved me and didnt want to see how she had hurt me, and didnt want me to get hurt again. and there was genuine sorrow in her voice. and she said she was sorry. of course she said she was sorry. and i said to her, i think i know why you did it, you did it because you have a good side and a bad side, and i see your good side, that is why i trusted you, because with me you were genuine. good ppl bring out the good in ppl, bad ppl bring out the bad. i'm good and jughead is the worst kind of trash. and with him, she was trash as well. and she covered it up simply because she knew i was the best thing to ever happen to her and didnt want to lose me. and even though i couldnt trust her again, even though she was complicit to it, i understood that she had reasons i wouldnt understand, because of experience. but didnt forgive her.

i spent every day this week with her. the first few days i talked with her, over and over, tried to understand her, find reasons. i asked her everything there was to ask, but i could find nothing satisfactory. she said she didnt truly love me until sometime in the last few weeks. and tbh, i felt that. i felt her feelings for me change. but i just dont know about that. the most she could say was that it was her most difficult period in her life and he was there for her, and she thought she fell in love with him. and then she wanted him out of her life for good, and he asked for one final favour to him. and she did what he asked. everything he asked. right down to smiling for the camera. except after, she still talked to him every 2 days. way to get him out of her life.

the night i found out, she spoke to a friend who had been through something similar. so i went to meet him as well, and he thought he had a handle of the situation. until i laid it all out for him, and it baffled him and he was lost for words. she had told me since that she had been thinking of leaving the city next yr because she had lost interest in her studies and life here. and she hadnt decided what to do yet. i was the only thing keeping her here, she said. so the guy heard it all, and he just said to follow my heart, because noone else would know how i felt. and he said, if you love her, you shouldnt rule out giving it another try. but hey, he's her friend as well as mine. so who knows? so he said, just make sure if she screws with you again that you never find out. and left it at that.

i knew i should have been alone this week, nowhere near her, but i didnt. i had something on my mind. i found myself thinking in strange ways. i think they call it transference, where you begin to take on traits of others. i took on jugheads. i kept telling her that i was fearful that i would assume his position. become the person i hated. but i admit that i wanted nothing more than to erase him from my mind, by dominating him. doing everything he did. take his place. be the person she smiled to in the photos, the person she said yes to, the person she risked everything for. i tried to stop myself.

she knew that every time i was away from her i would think clearly. and so she asked to stay with me for the weekend. and i didnt decline. i just let it be. and when she came, i just let everything happen. we had baths by candlelight together. we had dinner together. we drowned our sorrows together. we had sex. and a combination of the above. and i dont regret any of it for a moment. i knew every second that it was wrong. and i dont regret it. in fact...in fact, i welcomed it. and took the lead. i'm forgetting who i am. i'm not the person who kissed her on the hand the first time we were together because i was too shy to kiss her on the lips. and the way i know is because i feel no remorse. i'm doing wrong, and enjoying it. i can see my old self falling away with every second, and she is sucking me into her web and i love it. i dont do anything, i just think in the moment, the next time i can enjoy myself. i lost perspective. and i lost myself along the way. and worst of all...i dont want to find myself. i hate the person i've become, but i dont want to change. i'm not happy...but i'm satisfied.

one more thing. the reason i am still so confused is because i convinced myself that somewhere along the line, after what happened, she fell in love with me properly. i felt her behaviour change. i could see the love. and then i thought, i fell in love with a person who lied to me. is the love a lie? was it ever real? does lying to me change who she is? who is she? was she ever the person i knew? and do i still love her like i think i do? i believe it was just a momentary thing, something that couldnt happen with anyone else (jughead) and at any other time (after a seriously traumatic period of her life). and once that time has passed, i dont believe it would happen again, even with him. but then...thats based on the person i thought i knew. and it turns out i knew nothing. i dont know who she is, i dont know if i love her. i dont know who i am. who am i?

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#186 Post by hull_street » Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:58 pm

You know, Silvermoon, I spend significant amounts of time on boards for people who have suffered post-traumatic stress, who were physically, emotionally and sexually abused as children, and who have serious personality disorders, and yet I think that post is the single most disturbing thing I have read in quite some time.

You have turned a corner. You are the new Jughead. She's cleaving to you until she can find some other "friend" to take your previous place. You f*cked up her schedule by finding those pictures. She's using sex to control you until she regains her balance again. It seems to me that her previous experiences have left her unable to have a healthy, intimate relationship.

In a way, she is using you, but now you are the abuser. Would you have sex with a mentally handicapped person, knowing they weren't capable of having any sort of meaningful emotional relationship with you? Do you believe this is different? She hurt you, and now you're out for revenge or whatever. Does it feel good to do what you're doing? Again, I'll pose the question: Is your life somehow being enhanced by this experience?

I have suddenly found some compassion for this girl, because I suspect that the rest of her life is going to be an endless, unbearable hell, no matter what she does, or who she does it with. And, more likely than not, it wasn't her fault. Good job perpetuating that cycle of abuse. Keep it up.

But the picture of Dorian Gray is starting to show evidence of a cruel turn at the corner of the mouth. And I can see your soul eroding from all the way over here.

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#187 Post by silvermoon » Mon Mar 13, 2006 1:41 am

thank you. i've waited a long time to hear someone say that they feel compassion for her, that her past has created the person she is, and impedes her future. that she has been abused and that she isnt a bad person, but has had bad things done to her. and its funny how it takes such a strong and undeniably disturbing post to illicit this reaction.

i thought about writing the post above the way it happened; that i was heartbroken, because i had fallen in love with her just as much as she had fallen in love with me in the past few weeks. and that, i knew what i had to do after an incident such as this. and because i have no willpower, i couldnt bring myself to do it. i broke up with her, and talked with her to try to understand, and came to a form of reconciliation, then broke up with her again, then again and again...i've never experienced this sort of thing before, not just being cheated on but more importantly, falling in love. or at least thinking i had. i've always been an idealist in the sense that i believe anything is worth the pain as long as it is for love. its because i'm naive. and i can see the pain and anguish already. in my past, and in my future.

i thought about writing that, then i thought, i've said that to everyone already. and what can anyone say? anyone who has felt this before would say the same thing. and thus it proved. and i appreciate every person who said those words to me, because those people have been right about everything so far. and are right about this.

i love her, and she loves me.

i know i'm right about that. i can feel it. i see the pain, the anguish. and i see the slim chance of finding the most wonderful joy if we can overcome these things together. peope are right in saying that i should protect myself. but i wrote once that i would risk everything, take every chance for the chance for happiness. and now, here it is. her side of the story. the one that gets overshadowed by mine every time. because so far, until a week ago, she had done everything wrong.

she will probably stay here in this city, in university. she has planned on leaving for some time now. and now, she plans to stay. not certain, but probably. she tried to deny that it had anything to do with me, but i could tell just from the way she stressed my place in her life in the first place that it was because of me. and she confirmed it. she stays because of me.

she hasnt been home for almost a year. and she was going to go this summer, and i was to go with her. obviously after the events of the past week i wont commit to something like that anymore. and neither will she. she is staying with me to earn back my trust. she is staying because she wants me to love her the way i did before. love her truly.

i can say that the best thing for her would be to leave her and let her get on with her life. but somewhere along the way i realised that the pain meant nothing next to seeing her hurt. i dont think about what happened anymore, i just couldnt bear to hear that she was sad, couldnt bear to see her try to push me away, because she genuinely wanted to protect me. i think about her past, and the pain she has experienced, and i think of the person i was until a week ago as the best thing to ever happen to her. i made her happy, and that made me happy. she made a mistake, and i dont forgive her. not yet. and i'm angry. but her feelings are still directly interlinked with mine. i want what's best for her.

my friend tells me that i must be really in love. and also spectacularly weak and stupid. shes right on both counts. and 'charlotte's (the term just got even more complicated...) friend said that she cant expect me to come back after something like this, but if i did i must really love her. right also. and finally...i believe that it was just a moment in time, a moment of weakness. jughead used her, and now she knows. it wont happen again and it isnt her.

jughead did the same thing to many other girls. he tricked them all into sexual encounters, just like he did with her. he preys on the weak or oppressed. and, in her time of weakness, he tricked her. and she feels stupid and sorrowful for it. and i comfort her, and tell her she made a mistake, and it hurt me badly. and i'm still here. i know that i shouldnt be, but i am.

and then i read all this, and think of all the advice that people have given, and think how frustrated people must be to hear me fight on and talk of love that i might not have, blind to the truth, too involved, hurt and confused. and i must admit. i was going to write this, and i chickened out. and i wrote my worst nightmare instead. and left out the details to justify the bad reactions i would expect, no matter what i wrote.

the first few days we talked for many many hrs, and made some progress. and i stayed with her and slept on the floor. and i talked to her friend, and my friends, and just tried to find out everything i could. and we got to a point where it seemed like i wanted to give her a second chance. her last chance of course. because i could see the regret and hear the sorrow, not just of what she had done, but how she had hurt me. and i saw her situation, and as difficult as it was be to understand i saw reasons. and it all stemmed from jughead. truly bad people bring out the worst in you. because, far from being reprehensible, they are the nicest people you would ever meet. until they get what they want. and the whole time, you dont see what their plan is, because truly bad people dont just lie to you, they influence you and change you. justify everything they do in your mind. without remorse.

she was in a bad place in her life. she was alone, in a strange land, with no friends. the only perosn she knew was him. never mind that he was her only friend, she didnt get to pick friends. it was just him. so they grew close, and his influence on her grew. until i came along, and he sprung his surprise, and promptly left. i came along at the wrong time. if i had come along after he had left she would be perfect. she has always been perfect. it was jughead who had ruined our relationship. she has never been anyone other than the girl of my dreams and the girl i would love unconditionally if he never existed. and now, he doesnt. hes gone, and she doesnt regret that. she tells me that she did what she did because she didnt want to think that she had wasted such a large part of her life, and she made him important in her mind, simply for being there. trying to attribute meaning to that time of her life. not wanting to waste time, like she had always said to me. except she did, and she knows it. and she doesnt want to waste another second, in her life, and with me. and so long as i love her, her time wont be wasted. she will always be happy with me.

i am the abuser now. i am reprehensible. recognition doesnt change that. we did the things that we did because we love each other and want to try again, and make it perfect this time. forget the past, and just give ourselves to each other. there are no obstacles now. theres nothing to stop us. i should add that the only negative posts i ever wrote centered on jughead. and now, he is no longer a problem. and so, we spent the time we did together, and did what we did. we were alone in my flat for the weekend, and had romantics baths together. always chaste and gentle. just bath foam, hot water, candles and us. and it was magic. we talked of everything with such honesty, she told me everything that anyone would be afraid to admit. she just opened up. and i told her about my anger, and pain. and determination to set things right. i gave her a very intimate massage. again, completely chaste. and then she did the same for me, without request. and i could feel the care and love she put into it. she is just so gentle. i'll never see her bad side again, i know it. because it doesnt exist. it was just carried over from another. and we laid in bed together, and talked about our feelings towards sex. and i told her how i feared that what had happened would make me unconciously start to mistreat her, and she told me that would never happen, because she knew me and my limits. and i told her to refrain from anything sexual because i didnt want her to think i was abusing her. and i didnt want to change into something i was not. and she was glad, because she felt horrible about what had happened with jughead and felt the time was not right. how can i explain what happened? simply, we slept next to each other. and then, in the heat of the moment, we just forgot everything and made love. and we were so happy afterwards, because we were afraid it would be an obstacle and would bring back unwanted memories for the both of us. and she said to me, with a look of purity in her eyes, that she loved me. and i answered back. for one more shot at happiness, i'll give my all.

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#188 Post by hull_street » Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:52 am

Silvermoon, you don't get it. She doesn't love you. She doesn't know what the word means. She certainly doesn't feel that emotion. She's telling you what you want to hear, because that's what keeps you around. But she's going to find your replacement soon. She may have had a bad past, and without a doubt it is coloring her decisions now. Don't mistake my compassion for her as excusing her behavior. She is still responsible for her actions, and you are not going to be the knight in shining armor who somehow saves her from herself with your "love conquers all" delusion. Although it is nice to think so. I have no doubt that your gullibility is what is keeping you around now.

You need to make a break from her. If you keep on your current path, I can already tell you how the next 10 years of your life are going to go. Charlotte sounds like she's going to need a long period of psychological therapy to begin the healing you think is going to come from you. What you don't realize yet is that you are a replacable cog in a machine that you don't have a clue about the inner workings of.

Best of luck, though.

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#189 Post by silvermoon » Mon Mar 13, 2006 9:47 am

thank you very much, i'm looking to be vilified. i hate myself for making so many mistakes, for wasting my time, wasting the 'best years of my life'. i hate myself for ever getting manipulated. and i hate myself that i know that i can only do one thing, and find it so hard to do. i want to hear you say that i'm reprehensible and disgusting. i want to be the person who ignored advice from people who genuinely cared, and got proved wrong time and again. i am that person. tell it to me.

do you not see? the person i have become isnt jughead. it's her. everything happened as it did for her. she was cheated on by someone she loved. she wanted to protect herself after, stop herself from hurting. wanted to think she hadnt wasted her time, elevated someone to a position of such importance that she could believe in love. and to forgive the person everything they did just to prove herself right. to lie to herself. thats me.

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#190 Post by K » Mon Mar 13, 2006 11:17 am

Get over it. Stop complaining and start applying yourself.

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#191 Post by 52FM » Mon Mar 13, 2006 12:15 pm

OK - silver; here comes some more "tough love":

There is an unhealthy attraction to "drama" in people your age group; male and female. Sometimes I still fall for it myslef at my ripe old age when I am feeling emotions.

Get over it. It is DESTRUCTIVE.

These AREN'T the best years of your life the way you are acting. They aren't the best YEARS anyway - this is only a fraction of your life - and yet it will have such a negative impact if you think of as your whole life.

I wish I had the time to PM you about how your situation parralells my early life with my wife. Very many differences to be sure - but the similarity is this "woe is me" attitude along with a "love conquers all" attitiude allong with "we can work it out" along with "everything she does, she does for a reason. I can live with that."

WHY? Why live with it? You do her more benefit by breaking the cycle. Let her try to grow up. It's not your responsibility to make that happen anyway. YOU WILL BE MISERABLE at some point in your life if you married her the way she is now. (TRUST me on that one.)

You need to walk away from the drama - from the games - from the manipulation. That is the only advice I can give you. You will be so very sorry throughout your life if you don't.

One last "tough" statement: this is not a movie. Not a play. There is no audience looking at you "cheering you on" or sympathizing with your character. Someone needs ot tell her the same thing. Maybe it shoud be you. You want to "hit her"? Hit her with that. Tell her maturely and meaningfully that you really don't want to be part of this three act tradgedy. You have a life to lead and it will be much happier without her.

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#192 Post by Guest » Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:19 pm

Yes good tough love!

When 52FM says "drama" I think of "soap opera" cause that's what it has turned into.
I remember when I was in college and in my 20s and knowing people who would go though the most horrendous and crazy relationships similer to what silvermoon describes in some form or another.
But they did it because they were "in love" and couldn't help themselves.
I guess that's all part of being human and living and learning.
A woman friend I knew from that time and had those things going on in her life
eventually grew up and found a guy with which to have a mature relationship and went off and got married and lived in the suburbs and lived happily ever after. :shock:

My take on it is that humans have strengths and weaknesses and silvermoon while living through this and experiencing all of it and
it is a good learning experience, he needs to identify his weaknesses
here and what strengths he needs to call on or develop to turn things around for his life.
What 52FM alludes to in people silvermoons age and drama is basically immature behavior and love. It seems real and mature at the time but it's not. As a disclaimer let me say of course not all people that age are incapable of having mature relationships at that time but the majority do not! It's part of growing up.

And for Gods sake silvermoon DO NOT marry this woman! I think silvermoon needs to let it go and let some years go by.
If they meet up again after some years and time to mature and grow and see then if they are compatible or not.
But perhaps in that time he will meet someone who is more compatible and a mature and respectful love will develop and grow.
Ultimately that will be a much more satisfying and long term type of love than a crazy frenzied tumultuous thing.
And thats my $0.02!

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#193 Post by lemoncupcake » Tue Mar 14, 2006 2:33 pm

Silvermoon, listen to the advice of Bob and 52FM.
This girl has no idea what love or respect is. She reminds me of a friend of mine from China, who moved to Indiana and was doing the same things to guys that this girl is doing to you. She used the whole "culture" thing as an excuse many a time for her behaviour. I hope you're feeling better today.

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#194 Post by Just Like Honey... » Tue Mar 14, 2006 5:08 pm

I feel very stupid for posting this as it has already been said a number of times... also I just had to read the last 5 pages of this amazing thread after being out of action for a while, and I'm sorry if I offend.

For what my opinion is worth, I really don't think that you should ever speak one word to this girl ever again... she's been traumatizing you emotionally for months.. and sure such an abrupt end would probably hurt and confuse her as well, but to be honest, I don't think you should care. She deserves it.

Edit: Just finished reading all this latest stuff again, (it was actually more of a light skim the first time) and in light of some new information I picked up, there's one more thing I would like to comment on...
hull_street wrote:I suspect that the rest of her life is going to be an endless, unbearable hell, no matter what she does, or who she does it with.
After reading all this stuff, my only response to that theory is "GOOD". I'm not a spiteful or vengeful person, but looking at the big picture, her actions toward you are just pissing me off to no end. I've edited this post about 5 times and there's more I want to add but I will leave it at that.
I'd rather be a gear in a big, deterministic, physical machine than just some random swerving.

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silvermoon
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#195 Post by silvermoon » Wed Mar 15, 2006 12:30 am

wow...it's funny to look back at the first posts and see all this hope, and see it (rightly) deteriorate into an all-out slag-fest. and my fault more than anyones. i feel really bad that i find it so hard to do the right thing, and pissing people off with my ignorance at the same time, but i suppose that's life, and thats me. i just have this crushing disappointment that i met this girl who was superficially perfect and she turned out to be so...different. and quite honestly, and please dont correct me on this, but in many ways she really is my dream come true. just so many things about her, her personality, her sense of humour, her taste in...everything, her beauty...its a crying shame, really. take away jughead and she'd be all i'd ever need. and no, i still stand by the fact that its jugheads influence on her life that caused these events, not her personality. deep down shes a lovely person but shes had bad things done to her and been manipulated by the wrong people and its twisted her. in another time...things might have been perfect. but thats always the case. anyway, i'd say that shes 70-80% towards being perfection. and the 20% missing is entirely down to what she did one night with a twat, and her attitude which i guess stems from her horrible past. and to be fair, it is a very traumatic past. not that that excuses anything, and i've given up trying to defend her because in the end she hurt me bad and i do want it to stop, contrary to popular belief. and i never did a thing to deserve it. in the end, i was right to say i deserved better. that said, the girl i end up with wont be my dream girl. theres no way i can meet two girls like charlotte in the same lifetime. i guess this is a good experience in that i know what to expect and what not to now.

i met a girl at uni in the first weeks, but never really got to know her. and i saw her recently, and she volunteered to teach me mahjong, and i said i would teach her chess. and maybe go to the movies. and yet, i dont feel the urge to meet her, even after things with charlotte went so wrong. the first thing i need to do is grow up. shes very sweet, always bubbly...its funny, she seems so innocent, now its my turn to say i dont want to corrupt her. i've changed so much and learnt so little. i look back and think of all the mistakes i made and wonder how i could have been stupid enough to make them with so many people rallying around me. and tbh, its fitting that i'm pretty much americas most hated individual on this board now. i guess my naivety just pulled me in all the wrong directions. but more than even the knowledge of what to do in certain situations, i need to find the strength to do them. i hope i can find that within me.

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#196 Post by hull_street » Wed Mar 15, 2006 1:20 am

I don't hate you, Silvermoon. You're just exasperating. And a real idiot, sometimes. :)

When the grey hairs start to outnumber the "real" ones, hopefully you'll understand that this has been like trying to deliver a note to your past-self from the future. I don't know who said, "Youth is wasted on the young", but you are very much a case-in-point.

As far as this particular Charlotte goes, I'm stepping out of the picture. I was never a fan of watching train wrecks.

You could use a good dose of "bubbly" in your life right now. I expect to hear regular reports of your progress at Mahjong. Or at least that you had a fun time with a decent gal somewhere. That would be a nice change.

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#197 Post by silvermoon » Wed Mar 15, 2006 9:12 am

lol thanks, i know i'm an idiot sometimes :D . i'm trying to fix that part of me. gimme a few years, maybe....and of course i know that these are words of advice and not hatred. one thing i can say is, when i do eventually grow up, i will have learnt some things along the way. and maybe mahjong will be one of those. but for now, i just need some alone time. its all been quite exhausting.

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#198 Post by Guest » Thu Mar 16, 2006 12:20 am

Wow I think this is the longest post, 14 pages, on the entire forum!
And this also looks like a good time and place for an ending.
If silvermoon goes out with "bubbly" and learns MahJong, I think thats a great topic for a new post! Unless anyone has any more pressing words of advice or message of hope soon, I am going to close this.

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Picknick
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#199 Post by Picknick » Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:52 am

Hey i havent had a say yet! :D

Well ive been reading this story, a page a day. I'd like to thank Silvermoon for sharing the story. And having read this i would say yes, you're an idiot mr Silvermoon. You just keep believing her words again and again. Hmmm cause you're a romantic really, I know the feeling. Sometimes you have an image in your head. The way you would like it to be someday somehow, but its not a real image(thats why you keep giving her new chances?). The truth is a lot of girls would love to be with a romantic soul like yourself. So keep living a healthy life mr Silvermoon, and suddenly love will strike.
No one can grow in the shade

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#200 Post by I65 » Thu Mar 16, 2006 2:01 pm

Bob wrote:Wow I think this is the longest post, 14 pages, on the entire forum!
And this also looks like a good time and place for an ending.
If silvermoon goes out with "bubbly" and learns MahJong, I think thats a great topic for a new post! Unless anyone has any more pressing words of advice or message of hope soon, I am going to close this.
\

:cry: :cry: :cry: It's the end of an era :cry: :cry: :cry:

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